Tears for Roses || KookV

Void

Chapter 18

Italics are for flashback

➳༻❀✿❀༺➳

Bask in all of the silence
In between our eyelids
Where you are, I'm right there too
We might speak different languages
And we might have differences
But where you are, I'm right there too
I don't mean to be rude
There's things in myself that I see in you

At the time of great loss, your world gives way to sights and sounds of horror. It is as if you were walking in the street and a truck ran you down -emotionally. The loved one is gone, but you are still here. And you ask, "How can that be?" The lost will impact every part of your being. Not only can you not think straight, but activities run on automation. To call it "walking in a daze," doesn't approach the dark clouds that amass inside your skull. There is a mental tornado in there, which no-one can see nor comprehend. One may "shut down" for weeks, even months. Then, one day, the lost gravitates into new reality. You are not the only one to suffer, and you realize that this is not the last time you will encounter great loss. At that point, all memories connected to the lost one will become bitter-sweet. You can remember all the good times, relive them, and still move on with your life. This horrible experience has not crushed you, but you are enriched by it.

Jungkook's POV:

I had hope, that I can be happy, that I can forget Taehyung, that I can start a new life. When he first left I would describe my heartache as like an insatiable fire that burnt all the oxygen in my body leaving me listless and empty. But now it is more like a thin layer of ice, cooling my insides, a gentle reminder of the pain that came before and a warning not to stoke that fire again. They say once bitten, twice shy, but I think for me it's more like forever shy. I can't see myself putting my heart out there again, I don't think it can survive another inferno.

My thoughts were submerging me deep under the pain. I was prepared for months and months of anxiety and waking up to feeling nothing. I saw myself waking up in the middle of nights blank, absolutely numb.

My phone rang. It was Soyeon.

"H-hello" I managed a word out.

"Jungkook where are you?! It's been hours that I've been texting you. The boys are over." she sounded happy, an emotion I've been devoid of.

"I.. Won't be coming home today."

"Kook, are you alright? You're worrying me." she sounded of concern.

"Soyeon I" I inhaled "Yun-ah had been cheating on me"

"She what?!"

"Yeah"

"Where are you? I'm coming over." I heard the clinking of keys.

"No! No. I think I need to be alone for some time. I'm going to my old apartment"

"The one on the outskirts of the city?"

"Yes"

"Jungkook, are you sure you'll be okay? I really can come get you."

"Don't worry Soyeon. I'll call you if something is up"

"Promise me?"

"I promise you"

"Okay. Take care. Drop a text when you reach"

"Hm" I hung up.

I don't even know why that place suddenly came to my mind. The first ever apartment I bought with my own earnings.