Disturbed Serenity

01 - Clamoring heart

First Person Point of View

The cries, and panting of our breaths were invading my whole ears. Natuyo na rin ang mga sugat kong hindi nagamot, at patuloy pa rin ang pagsakit ng katawan namin. I know how tired I am to speak, and ask for help. "I cannot take this anymore..." 

We are facing each other, and a year that we are tolerating what is happening before our eyes. Every day is always a struggle for us three. Hindi dapat ako nandito, lalo na silang dalawa. Each other, I almost memorize their faces because we always got each other's back in case what happens. I can see the dirt that is forming in our bodies, and even though we are kind of taken care here the feeling of dissatisfaction is always present.

I know we are in a foreign country, and from what I heard we are now in Barcelona. It almost feels like a world tour if we are not imprisoned here. The crazy woman behind this enjoys the money that my daddy is giving her, and stealing from my family. My sighs are deeper than the seas we have travelled so far. 

Hindi naman ito ang buhay na ginusto ng pamilya ko sa akin, pero sila ang isa sa dahilan kung bakit ko nararanasan 'to ngayon. I should take all the blame from their end because it won't happen, if it isn't because of me. I feel the most pity with my personal maids that turned into friends. They are also like a family to me. Loyalty is truly a gift, but at what expense?

We did many attempts to leave, but we always ended up getting caught. Hindi kaya ng sikmura kong masaktan na naman kami. So much for being the understanding daughter, and a sister...but I can't seem to let go of this softness in my heart. With all of them, it is hard to fight back.

Bantay ang galaw, at salita namin dito ng mga lalaking inutusan din ng babae na iyon. Palagi kaming sinasaktan, at tinatakot gamit ang baril nila. Their faces are always covered, either it is fully covered or half. Hindi sila mabubuti, and they are even more dirtier than us.

"Oh, kumain na kayo riyan!" Sigaw ng lalaki na kakapasok lang, at may dalang pagkain sa'min. Kung pwedeng hindi kainin 'to gagawin ko talaga, kaso mawawalan naman ako ng energy. Sa ganitong panahon, pinaka-importante na malakas ako.

The food is obviously their excess, and ang hirap tumanggi kapag kumakalam na ang tyan. 

"Hindi mo kailangan sumigaw." Hindi ko inasahan ang pag-sagot ni Sarafina. My best girl, and I weakly smiled at her to let her know she did well.

Agad naman nagpaputok ng baril ang isa pang kasama ng lalaki na may dalang malaking baril. Nagpasukan ang mga iba pang nagbabantay sa amin. Napatakbo kaming lahat sa halong takot, at gulat. Oh my goodness! When will this loop of hell end?

Mabilis din tumutok ang mga baril ng mga lalaking 'yon sa'min. Ano bang problema nila?! Sila naman ang unang naninigaw nananahimik kami!

"Putangina niyo! Pasalamat kayo, may dala pa kaming pagkain sainyo!" Sigaw ulit nung lalaki na nasa labas na nagbabantay din sa aming tatlo. As if this is enough reason to be grateful. No thanks, I can suck it up.

"E'di patayin niyo nalang ako! Bakit niyo pa pinatatagal?! Palayain niyo na silang dalawa!" Matapang na sagot ko kahit nanlalambot na ang tuhod ko sa takot. Hindi ko gustong mamatay, but just to protect them I want to sacrifice my life because it should be me. Naririnig ko ang iyak ni Maianne. She is the most scared, at iniisip ko palang ant natamong trauma ni Maianne, I can never forgive myself.

Bigla namang tumawa ang lalaki na may hawak na malaking baril. Laugh all you want, kapag ako nakahanap ng pagkakataon, aalis kami rito! You will all pay for this! All of them! I will sue you all!

"Saksakan ka pa rin ng tapang..." With shaking knees, tinutukan niya pa ako ng baril. Hindi ito first time, pero natatakot pa rin ako. I did not bowed my head, I just let be lifted. Hindi ko kailangan magpadaig sakan'ya!