Hold Me In Your Arms Forever (suicidal Sugawara x Daichi haikyuu!!)

Chapter 4

Brrzt, brrzt,

Brrzt, brrzt.

'Shut up.' I think. I move my arm slightly. It aches with every movement. I slowly push myself up with my one hand. Sitting up, I open my eyes which were glued shut before. I'm in the hallway which connects the front door and the rest of my house. I feel my arms wobble as I force myself to sit up against the wall. My head spins and I feel a stinging in my thigh. I carefully peel my shorts, that were stuck to my leg, up to expose yesterday's work. There are so many. So many large, deep, crimson lines. I let a sob out of my body, and more come out. I put my hands on the sides of my face, gripping at my hair and the horrible headache that has formed.

The tears streak down my pale face slowly, adding liquid to the red stained floor. I look at my shaking hands, trying to make sense of everything that is going on. My mind feels like its spinning at a million miles an hour and it wont stop, it just wont stop. I hit my head with the palms of my hands.

"Jus'... stop!" I yell with my hoarse voice.

My phone vibrates. I let my head fall back on the wall and reach over to grab my phone. The light produced from the screen hurts my eyes as it's almost pitch black in the hallway.

Daichi</3: Suga, please respond im getting super worried about you
Daichi</3: Please please please
Daichi</3: Its almost 4 and if you don't respond I will literally run to your house.
Daichi</3: That's it im coming over.

Delivered 12 mins ago.

"No, no, no, no, please no..." I mumble to myself. Disregarding the hundreds of other missed texts and calls, I use the wall to push myself up with what little strength I have left. I feel my knees shake and my legs wobble as I finally stand up. I move to take a little step but my legs give way. I fall back to the floor and realise that there will be no way I'll be able to make my way to the bathroom in time.

Crawl. You don't want him seeing you like this, huh? Do you?

I grit my teeth. Using my arms, I push myself up so that I'm on my hands and knees. I struggle to move but as soon as I take my first step I almost give way again. My head and heart are pounding and everything hurts. Push on. Another step. And another. Ignore the pain. You've done that for 10 years, it should be nothing by now.

I keep crawling in pain until I finally make it to the bathroom. The pain in my chest and head is unbearable. I feel more tears come down my face. It's hard to breathe, it's like I'm stuck in a pit of quicksand and no one can help pull me out. It's no use. I'm so tired and in so much pain. I let my head fall into my hands and pull my knees to my chest.

Daichi's POV

Ba bump. Ba bump. Ba bump. My heart beats hard in my chest. Sweat drips down my forehead. My arms and legs pump forwards and backwards rhythmically. My eyes forward and my mind focused on one thing: get to Kōshi.

I've been running for a good while, at least 15 minutes. Everything is sore but to me it doesn't matter. Something has changed in the past couple of days which have confirmed my suspicions. I, and everyone else, know that Kōshi always wore long sleeves, no matter how hot it was. And I swear I saw bandages on him more than once.

I finally arrive at his small house. I don't wait around and run up to the front door. I fumble around in my sweat pant pockets until I find the key that I got given years ago. Frantically sticking it into the doorknob, I twist it and push open the door to be greeted with darkness. I feel my way around the wall to find the light switch and flick it on. A horrifying sight fills my eyes. There's a large pool of dried blood sitting in the middle of the hallway. His phone was off to the side. I go to grab it when suddenly, a flash of silver catches my eye. I squat down to see something I hoped I'd never see. A large silver blade with dried blood coating the edge.

"Suga!?" I shout, picking up the blade and his phone. I turn the corner to check the living room. I walk back and notice the bathroom light on. Please, please, please, don't...

"Suga?" I say, this time more quietly. Looking at the sight in front of me, it's almost unreal. The most perfect person ever is sitting in the corner of their bathroom, sobbing and shaking with blood stains on the floor and large crimson cuts along their arms and thighs. Without a second thought I rush down to envelop the smaller in a great big hug. I feel his arms slowly slink around my waist, his crying getting harder. "Hey, hey, hey, it's ok, I'm here, it's gonna be ok, I'm here now." I say shakily. I rub his back and put my hand on the back of his head. I feel my own tears start to form. I pull back from the hug and take his face in my hands. I lean my forehead on his and with both of our eyes full of tears, I whisper a quiet "I'm so sorry..."

I slowly remove my hands from his face when I hear him whisper something.

"I...I f-feel light sick..." he says, the tears slowing slightly. I take my hand to his arm but he flinches away.

"Please", I start, "let me help you." I give a sad smile. Slowly, he shows me his right arm. It had many cuts, red and pale ones, but what stood out to me the most was the few very long and deep looking cuts that stretches almost all the length of his forearm. I feel more tears well up into my eyes. I put his arm back down and take a look at his left arm. While it wasn't as bad as his right it still had many cuts, both deep and more shallow, crimson imperfections and pinkish white blots scattered over his arm.

I put his arms down and hold his hands in my own. I'm completely speechless.

"C'mon, we need to get you cleaned up and then you need rest..." I manage to speak. I see the other nod his head slowly. "Would you like a shower or..?" He waits, probably thinking, before he shakes his head 'no'.

"I'll find some stuff for you."

HJDKJGSADKGSDKGSDGSJDGKJSGcjGJHFDGHFSHGSHGHSCV I HAVE A LAPTOP SO WRITING WILL BE EASIER KINDA IDK BUT I LOVE YOU GUYS AND I ACTUSLLY GOT THIS PART DONE AND I HAVE SCHOOL BACK NOW SO ILL TRY MY HARDEST TO UPDATE REGULARLY!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS, THANKS FOR READING AND MAYBE COMMENT WHAT YOU WANNA SEEEEEE :DDDDDDDD ALSO 1151 WORDSSSS

ps listen to Jack Stauber or else <3