All good things

Chapter 17

Dear Simon,

Where do I start? Well, firstly, you must be wondering, how on earth am I able to write you this letter? I guess Jonathan has a soft spot for me, after all, we did spend 6 months in the sunny Spain. Sorry, I'm not trying to be funny. Anyways, he is letting me write you this letter, to say goodbye. My grandmother is going to receive one, too. But this one is to you all, who I've come to care about - Clary, Magnus, Alec, Isabelle...and you. Mostly you, Simon. 

I don't know where I am right now, that's also probably why Jonathan is letting me write this - I was blindfolded for what felt like days, and now I'm in a building where it is extremely hot and the humidity is terrible. My guess? Somewhere in South-America. Can't be sure though. That's not even the point. Even if I did know where I was, I wouldn't tell you. I know that sounds stupid, but we both know that I'd never put you in any kind of danger. (I know that sounds ironic, since everything that's happened, but bear with me.)

I told you, that this is a goodbye letter. In fact, it is not, but Jonathan doesn't need to know that. I have no intention of staying with Jonathan, until he blackmail's me into killing people for him, but if it comes to that, just know that I am not doing any of this willingly and tried to fight back - just like before. I am going to do whatever it takes, to survive and find my way back to you, but here's the tricky part  - I'm going to need you to stay out of it. I know that must be hard for you, but you have to promise me, that you won't try and find me. I can do this, not without you, but I need you there, outside, not here where you'd be of no use to me and where Jonathan can hurt you. So, for once, Simon, listen to me, please. I need you to stay put and above all, trust me. I know it's a lot to ask, and it will take all your willpower, but do this for me. I promise, I will find a way back to you.

You have to talk to Jocelyn and Clary. Find out what you can about Jonathan's past and why we couldn't find information about Clary and Jonathan being siblings. It's important and I will need that information. Jonathan is cunning, but he underestimates almost everyone around him. I slipped up last time, using Jose as an informant, but this time, I won't make that mistake. I will contact you, not the other way around, not until I give you the green light to do so. And Simon, I'll say this once more - stay put. I mean it. Also, talk to Mark. But be very careful, I don't know who to trust any more.  

I love you. It feels so good to say it - well, write it. You know what I mean. I couldn't be more happier, knowing that you feel the same, although the timing was absolutely terrible. I still love you, though. I can't really stop saying it. I love you, and I need you to trust me. Trust, that I'll find a way out of this. And I trust you, to do as I say.

I miss you already, but I promise it won't be long, until we see each other again. Be patient and be careful. Trust only your friends, your closest friends. I know you, Simon, I know you won't give up on me, but I will need you to try and stay away. If you don't, it could mean death to us both. And I know you don't want that.

Sorry that this was all so gloomy and depressing, I'm usually more cheerful as you know. By the way, I am glad you chose Clary. She deserves a better life than Jonathan would've given to her. So don't hold it against her, and don't ever blame yourself. You are so much stronger than anyone else I've ever met. I am so glad I can call you mine. 

All the love and yours forever,

Jace. 

***

Simon's hand caressed the last words on the bottom of the page, his lips trembling slightly but his eyes were dry. He stared down at the paper, noticing it was shaking in his hand. He put it back on the end table, falling into the freshly washed sheets. Yes, he did laundry. He had even gone to uni, catching up on things he had left hanging since everything happened. He had played with Jordan, small gigs, but still. He had gone out for dinner with friends. All in the span of 3 weeks. It had taken him only two days to get his act together, or so his friends thought.