I shouldn't love you

CHAPTER THREE

Jenna

I've been really in the pits the past few days since the baby shower. I'm glad to say that it wasn't all a disaster after Thomas left, people pretty much forgot all about the drama once we had food in their stomachs. 

What has disappointed me is that the most gorgeous guy that I've seen in a long time just so happens to be my sister's new boyfriend. I mean, maybe there is hope for me yet if I can get my sister to believe Thomas because it really did seem as if he was telling the truth. I haven't had such a reaction to any guy before. I've been evading my sister because I honestly don't want to hear her gushing about what a perfect guy Asher is blah blah blah. 

I'm not jealous, okay maybe I'm a bit jealous that she has Asher and I kind of wanted him for myself. I know that's wrong which is why I'm distancing myself from her trying to grieve the loss of something I never even had. Isn't it funny, that I'm so into this guy and I don't even know if he remembers my name let alone my face and here I am proclaiming that he should be mine? I really need to make sure Thomas was being honest... 

This evening my parents have a work dinner to attend so it's just me and my sister left at home, and I have to face her today. "Hey, I made dinner, you want to eat together?" she asks, and I don't really have the heart to say no to her because she didn't really do anything wrong. 

We sit at the dinner table and I can't keep quiet any longer, "So you and Asher huh?" I sneak a glance at her and see that she flinched at my statement.

"Uhm yeah. Asher is my new boyfriend. You know I have to move on Sis, I can't keep pining after Thomas when he clearly doesn't want me anymore. I'm actually questioning if he ever did." She says wiping a tear. 

"Stephanie, he loves you. maybe you guys should have that talk and hash out everything that happened between you two." I say trying to make her see reason.

"No, I've moved on." She says but I don't let her end the conversation at that. It could or not be for my own selfish reasons. I plead the fifth.

"Do you even know anything about this guy? You've been on what one date with him? Suddenly he's enough to throw away your marriage for?" I lash out at her.

"That's not fair. You have never experienced what I'm going through, having your husband, the love of your life cheat on you with a faceless and nameless woman. So, don't pretend as if you would've done anything differently. I thought you would be by my side and support me as my sister and best friend, but I can see now that I was sorely mistaken." She gets up with her unfinished food and heads to her room after throwing out her food I assume. 

I don't blame her for being mad at me, I'm being a pretty bad sister right now, just because her new man has caught my eye jeesh. Suddenly I don't have an appetite anymore. I follow suit and dump my dinner in the trash, put my plate in the dishwasher and head upstairs to go to sleep. 

On my way to my room, I pass Stephanie and can hear sniffling coming through the door. I have to make things right. I knock on her door and don't hear anything, so I try the door and it opens. I see her on the bed in a ball and bawling her eyes out.

"Sis?" she ignores me, so I lie down on the bed behind her and embrace her. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said what I said downstairs. You're right I don't know what you're going through and that sucks because I hate to see you in so much pain, I would much rather carry some of it for you." 

She turns in my arms and hugs me too and says, "I'm sorry too. It's just that this is still too raw for me to talk about or even think about." We sit in silence in our position for the longest time, until I have to go and pee. When I come back I see her sitting up on the bed and biting her fingernail, "What's wrong?" I ask her.