Tame | ✔

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

After their return from Leila's hometown, things went back to the way they once were. The days strolled by lazily and slowly, and Leila had to go through them all by herself. The reddish-brown theme of the autumn had gradually faded into the plain, cold coverage of an upcoming lifeless winter. Soon enough, it started to snow. The surprise and delight that had crossed over Leila's face as she had watched the particles of frozen water delicately stomp on the ground was indescribable. It wasn't like it had happened everyday back home. She had never seen real snow back there before, except for those times in their kitchen's freezer, of course.

At such moments, her thoughts drifted back to her family and her heart ached. She wanted to be with them at that moment, yet she didn't know what to think of her situation. She didn't what she was supposed to feel, about the fact that her father was on his deathbed, and she knew it, but couldn't do anything about it. The furthest her mind had wandered was the wish for them to be here with her, to watch the snowfall together by the fire, and have a family talk while drinking her mother's homemade chocolate beverages. She felt homesick and spent most of her nights crying herself to sleep. She was all by herself; only joined by the company of Emily, and the visits of her friend Marissa, which were becoming less frequent by the time, due to her stress of work and her plans of future and marriage.

Ever since that day of their fight, things just began to wear out in a strange way. She rarely saw David anymore. Life went back on track, where everyone lived in their own worlds. David was mostly in his room, doing God knows what. When he wasn't there, he would be at work, stressing his heart out to no end He was getting weaker. She could clearly notice that, even though they only met by coincidence a few times, during trips to the kitchen for a quick brunch or while going and coming back from work. David would just say a simple hello, or sometimes hi, when he was on a rush. Other than that, they never really spoke. He didn't say more. He didn't even smile. She had even forgotten that one day there was actually a cheerful David who used to grin all the time.

It became easier for Leila to notice that every time she saw him, he looked more disheveled and exhausted than before. He no longer was the handsome guy she saw the first time they met. Stubble of short hair grew over his unshaven beard and his hair was no longer soaked in that gel he used to apply. And if she looked closer, she could see that his eyes had lost a portion of that welcoming spark they once held. He was the concept of messed up in every sense of the word. Leila concluded that it might have been some trouble with work, but even the worst of troubles could never really lead to such situations.

She even repeatedly urged Marissa to explain his situation, and wondered if she actually knew anything, but the girl never gave her the straight answer she desired. She respected her secrecy. If David didn't want to tell her, then so be it. She never asked him personally about it, for the fear of unnerving him. It was better if they had a neutral relationship, than having nothing at all. Some things are just better kept away, after all.

Ramadan has ended as quickly as it came, in a barely noticeable haze. She felt lonely, having to eat Sohour and Iftar everyday by herself. She had wanted multiple times to ask David to join her, but she was too afraid of his reaction to do so. Eid passed by, and Leila had to spend it alone. David probably didn't even know what an Eid is, so she didn't even bother asking him about it.

About two weeks later, while Leila was practically drowning in her daily course of self-pity, she received a call from her mother, informing her that her father was now checked in at the Public Hospital of LA, Ca. A conflict of emotions had coursed through her. She didn't know if she were supposed to be happy that they were only a few miles away from her, or desperate that her father was actually dying.