w r i t e i t o u t

m a s k e d

this is in the imagination that the guy I've been with over long distance are in person and I feel no different from when we were apart.

"I'm fine, " I tell you laying down back on the bed. You look over to me, an eyebrow raised. as if you can't see my tears. I pretend you're crazy. hiding my feelings is easier than telling you because I don't want you to think that I'm obnoxious, narcissistic or conceded. I roll over with my eyebrows furrowed. you're not perfect. I'm not perfect. But, I figured I would have someone who could make me feel better. I guess I don't deserve it. it seems that you're all I can have. I can't have better. leaving me on delivered for hours. texting me when you're hard. telling you to love me only after I say it or if I haven't texted you first. I know everyone needs attention... but is that all I am? someone for you to give attention to? what are we right now, babe? "babe, " I say continuing to lay away from you, back turned. "Yes?" you reply. "I love you." I mumble and close my eyes as tears fall.