w r i t e i t o u t

t r a p p e d

don't judge my pants off please, I know I may sound insecure or desperate. Most of these poems are directly at me, some are just for certain moods I'm with or how I want to write. this is partially one of the cases because I embellished a little bit🤡. anyway, enjoy, if you can💜

hey, I whisper into the darkness. my words illuminating on my intention. But I wasn't intending to break down and cry into your lap. it just happened that way. I felt trapped, lost, broken. and even more so with you. my dependency clung to me everywhere I went making my brain a paranoid and jealously scared blob. why? you were good too me. but flags arose and I ignored them. flags SHOWED me what I had no business in pressing on with. but I pressed and pressed hoping that the harder I tried that the shinier this lump of coal would get. maybe if I gave you the chance to put effort in I would get the results I wanted. but I'm scared. I don't trust myself... much less anyone else. you could turn on me very easily. because I dont deserve to be happy. I dont deserve to have anyone actually good enough for me. maybe it'll get better if I stop pressing forward. stop chasing. you can chase now. you will... won't you? I'm still scared. even after writing all of that

😳