Balanced Out // TodoDeku (On Hold Until My Writer's Block Swallows a Toaster)

When I Realize...(Todoroki's POV)

I've been granted permission to roam around, so that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm currently glancing around Midoriya's living room while he patiently watches the timer from a chair in the dining room. It's very humble and well-furnished. I enjoy myself here.

Midoriya's on another mumbling spree. This time it's about if he should leave the spot he's in or not and if he does, whether or not he'd get distracted and overcook the nikuman.

"Midoriya..." I mutter, walking over and putting my hand on his shoulder.

He flinches and looks at me.

"Oh...hey, Todoroki. Sorry..." he says, turning a little red. "I do that a lot, don't I?"

"Yeah, but it's fine...I don't mind.." I reassure him.

I find it cute, but I'm not gonna tell him that.

"Haha, sorry...you can...go back to doing what you're doing, I'm just...gonna sit here..."

"Do you wanna come with me?"

"I already know what my house looks like, Todoroki." He chuckles.

"I-I know that, but..." I want you by my side...always...

I sigh and nod.

"Don't worry about it, I'm only kidding. I'm just gonna sit here and watch the timer though, just in case."

"Alright."

I turn around and go into a hallway that connects to the bathroom, a closed door with a sign that reads 'Izuku' which I'm assuming is Midoriya's bedroom, and another closed door further along which I believe is his mom's room. The bathroom's very neat and organized, which is unexpected for me.

After contemplating a bit, I let myself into Midoriya's bedroom. There are All Might posters galore and a lot of All Might merchandise spread out across his room. This doesn't surprise me too much as he has a lot of this sort of thing in his dorm room as well. All Might figurines and such of that matter are scattered across the bed in heaps all over. I catch a glimpse of something through the corner of my eye and look directly at it to see an overflowing drawer, incapable of closing properly.

When I get a closer look, I see that it's filled with small figurines, a couple posters, and shirts dedicated to me. Looking through it, there's a lot more than I expected there to be in there. I feel my face get hot and decide to act like I didn't see it. I move some stuff out of the way and sit on the bed for a while, all the while trying to figure out why he has things like that in here. I shake my head and exit the room.

He bumps into me while heading in my direction as I leave his room.

"S-sorry. I was...just gonna tell you that t-the nikuman's done," he stammers.

I turn my head away from him, thinking about what I found in his room. 

"Are you okay, Todoroki? You're face is really red." He puts a hand on my forehead. "And a lot hotter than it should be..."

"I'm fine...I'm just...thinking about...something..."

"Alright...if you say so..."

"I like your room by the way. It's...well-decorated."

He turns red himself and looks nervous.

"U-uh, thanks...i-it's kind of embarrassing though...I-I couldn't bring all that stuff into the dorm with me so I just kinda...left it here. I-I'm surprised Mom didn't sell any of it or donate it or something by now..."

"Yeah..."

"Oh, and I uh...spent a lot of money recently on some stuff in there."

I nod, knowing exactly what he's talking about.

His eyes widen. I think he's figured out that I saw the drawer. Probably my lack of curiosity. I pull one of his figurines from my pocket and let him see it to find out how he'd try to explain this.

He doesn't. He just stares at it silently.

He looks down at the ground and clenches his hands into fists.

"Um...s-sorry...I..." he begins. He trails off and just stares at the ground. "Y-you saw the stuff I crammed into my drawer...d-didn't you?"

"Y-yeah...I did," I tell him awkwardly, looking down at the figurine in my hand.

"T-that...seeing that probably...made you uncomfortable...I-I'm sorry..."

I bend down to his height and wrap my arms around him, placing my ear against his chest.

His heartbeat is unhealthily fast and it's pounding. It sounds painful honestly.

He feels it too...

"Just...relax...it's fine..." I tell him quietly.

He hugs me back and lays his head on my shoulder.

We stay like that for a while, silently listening to the sound of each other's quiet breathing.

"I...have something to get off my chest for now...as we're both keeping something from each other I guess..."

"H-huh?"

"I don't...understand you at all, Midoriya..." I mumble into his ear. I'm worried about how he'll react to this, but...here goes nothing. I can't stay away from the truth forever.

"I..." he starts. I cut him off.

"But I want to...I want to be closer to you. I want to understand you. I want to spend the time with you that it takes to do so," I admit, remaining near his ear to make sure he can hear me properly.

He remains silent for a minute or two. Then he moves his head to look me in the eye.

"Me too," he murmurs back to me. "I-I do too."

"Then...stay close to me. Stay with me," I say under my breath, leaning my forehead against his. I intertwine our fingers on both hands. "Okay?"

He's beet-red and staring at me intensely. I stare back. He's quiet, with the only sound coming from him being his soft breathing. His eyes flutter closed.  I close my eyes as well.

"Stay with me," I repeat softly. He shudders. I give him a weakened smile. I press him against the wall, leaving my forehead on his. I want to touch him more, but I don't. I won't do anything like that to him while I barely even know if he feels the same as I do. I know what this feeling is now. I know exactly what he means to me. I know.

He stays silent. I wait patiently.