Living

All I Could Ever Want

Eden took a deep breath and stared into the frozen water in front of the bench, he almost forgot that it was ice, wondering why it was so still. He thought about how to speak without revealing too much about his personal life. "I don't think I'll never be able to find what's mine, you know? What difference I can make" he failed to not reveal too much but still, he continued "you think that you've found where you belong then you realise that it's just another cell to escape." Eden let out a deep sigh, his cold breath showing as he exhaled "I don't have anything more left in me" Eden saw the old man smile through the snow, he brushed off the snow collecting on his roses, then laughed a little louder "my wife said the exact same thing, she used to sound exactly like you" Eden let the silence hang in the air before asking "Wasn't she happy when she died?" the old man responded "in the last year of her life she was the happiest I had ever seen." Eden asked why to which the man answered "that street performer had sung a song about how much he wanted to live" In Eden's song he spoke about how much he wanted to make a difference with the little he had and how he would always try to keep living. The present Eden was a different man. "If your dream isn't what you thought it was, then take a risk and make a new dream. You know that saying, good things come to those who wait?" he waited for Eden to confirm before he continued "that's the worst advice anyone could ever give you" Eden thought for a while, he felt he was about to cry "I just want to know do something big and life changing, you know? Like saving a life" all while talking Eden held a sombre tone "or save the world or end it, then" he paused "then maybe they'll remember me when they know I'm gone .That's all I could ever want" he let the wind speak for a minute then repeated, tears streaming down his face "that's all I want." The park lights came on just as he finished speaking and he could now clearly see the old man, he was wearing a leather coat jacket that was covered in snow. Eden deduced that he must have been out here for a long time. The old man said bluntly "sounds like you're scared of living" Eden was unable to deny that. He knew it was true. After years of suffering, he was scared to do anything that might worsen his life even slightly. "The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you" the man continued "and you won't know what you want until you start living" the man asked "what do you really want?" Then Eden responded "I just want someone to cry when I'm gone so I know that they care for me" Eden fondled his guitar strings absent mindedly "you keep talking like you have all this wisdom but I don't think you understand me or what I fear" The man sighed "you're scared that your life is passing you by" The man knew exactly what Eden feared. "Listen kid, every time you take a step back, your life takes a step forward. On the days you don't take a risk or run from a dream it gets farther and farther away from you and one day, you won't be able to catch up. " The cold air was freezing Eden's tears and his face was getting cold