8th Grade

3.

This girl with black hair that fell down her back in shiny waves, tan skin, a nose ring, and cute glasses came into the room. I'm straight but man, she was just amazing! I could feel everyone becoming silent as they paid attention to the new person in the room. The late entry was also very dramatic.

"Hey, Mr. Fin!" She said to the teacher. Her voice was angelic and every aspect of her was perfect! I could feel the jealousy burning inside of me. Why wasn't I like her? Like anybody in the damn room? Sorry, THE WHOLE FREAKIN BUILDING??

"Hello, dear. Your pass?" Ms. Fin asked politely. He seemed like a chill teacher. All social studies teacher that I know are chill besides the guy in seventh grade, but excluding that.

"Um, what is that? I got lost in the school since I'm new in the district." She gave her nice big smile, but something was off about her. As if she was deceiving everyone.

"Hm, interesting," he thought for a few seconds and said, "you may sit wherever you like. Next time, get a pass."

"Ok!" She smiled once again and sat down two seats behind me by a group of girls who totally knew who she was as they had been giggling at each other and said her name, Lena, as if there were some inside joke to it. Well, I guess she wasn't new to the district.

Well, this was going to be an interesting day...

———

Today was one of the worst days I've ever, EVER, experienced!

Literally.

I couldn't see one familiar face in any of my glasses, how is that possible!

Erghhhhh. I'm losing my mind. I can't deal with school. But then again, I love learning. I guess I'm in the middle.

Nah, I'm full on school.

The one thing I despise is group work. Every class, we had to do am icebreaker. Just to get to know one another better. My memory is usually very good but I don't remember names. Who does?

One of my teachers, Ms. T, my math teacher, said to choose partners, I immediately wanted to shrink down into my seat and just be invisible but unfortunately, life sucks and you can't do that. I could hear the silent conversations people made with their eyes, waiting in anticipation to run over to their partners. As she said go, I was the only one still sitting in my seat. I hated it. The fact that I'm lonely as fuck.

"Class, now that everyone has a partner, come over here and collect your packets to complete." Yup, she complete skimmed over me. I went over alone, collected the packet, and sat down into my seat and buried my head in my packet alone.

"Girls," I heard Ms. T call. I looked over to who she was talking to. It was Lena's group. "I said group of two, not three." She went over to them and then looked over to Lena and said, "What's your name?" She pointed at Lena. Once she replied, "Go work with..." she looked over around the room to see anyone alone.

Suddenly I felt cold, brown eyes stare at me, "her" she said. Lena's blue eyes reached mine and I immediately cowered in my seat. God, I wanted to just disappear at that moment. Why was I put in that situation?! I hate attention.

"No, Ms. T! She already has a partner. And besides, I don't even know her!" Lena argued with a teacher.

"Actually, she doesn't have a partner, unless your retinas are seeing double images. Besides, we must learn how to adapt to circumstances we may not preferably choose. But that's all part of life. So, deal with it and who know? You may even make a friend."

"Friends with her? Heck no. Sign. Me. Out." Lena said furiously. That did wonders to my self esteem.

"Well, Lena. I guess you want detention. You with work with her or else you get detention." Ms. T said, not dealing with nonsense anymore.

"Fineee. I'll work with her." She dragged her backpack to the seat beside me. She sat down and immediately became engrossed into her phone. "Hi, my name is Lena and just do the work and I'll do mine."

"Umm...ok. But we're graded on this. For completion." I said gingerly. I was sacred she was going to snap at me any second.

"Does it look like I give a crap? No. So mind your business and I'll mind mine!" She didn't even make eye contact with me.

That's basically the only thing that happened between us.

———

I entered the bus again and sat in the first seat. I brought out my phone and replied to a text message from my dad telling me that he won't come home tonight. Typical. I rested my head on the window and awaited my stop so I can go home and take a nice long shower.

I sat alone. Sam wasn't there as he had gotten picked up by his mom to go out while I was stuck here. In a box of sweaty kids chattering and bickering about their "amazing" first day of school.

Imagine being normal.

Imagine having friends.

Imagine being popular.

Just imagine.

My stop came, the first one on the last neighborhood which only had 4 kids and I practically ran out of the god damn coffin. I didn't want people to look at me and create false assumptions.

As I was about to get off and then a boy from one of my clubs last year, Alec, spoke to me, "Bye."

I was shocked to say the least. He was one of those kids who always greeted everyone, but me? I barely knew the kid.

I told the bus driver, "Have a nice day!" And he replied with "See you tomorrow!"

Once I breathed in the fresh air of Mother Earth I slowly walked to my house. I opened the garage, took off my shoes, and then washed my hands. I quickly went into the shower and rest my heavy head on the wall.

Today was too long of a rollercoaster.

~~~~~~~
May 28, 2020
Wellll, life's been great huh. This whole pandemic sure can hit you hard. Online schooling is another word for boring and useless.