Pass, Sex, Hit (A Harry Styles AU)

Chapter 9

Lexi's POV

The seconds feel like minutes, the minutes like hours, the hours like days, the days like weeks, the weeks like months. As I trudge through my classes everything is a blur. It's almost like muscle memory, I don't know what I do, but I do it. It's almost like I'm watching myself mope through life. It's not me doing the things I do, I'm just watching myself. When I caught my dad cheating, I thought I knew what pain was. I thought that was a 10 on the pain scale. Now I realize that what I went through then was like a paper cut compared to the painful throbbing in the place my heart is supposed to be.

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I can't take this anymore. I just can't. I ransack the small dorm for something, anything. Finally, I reach my hand under the bed and pull out the tall glass bottle. I take a swig of the crimson liquid and it burns going down. I feel the tears running down my cheeks but I can't hear myself sob. More tears, more wine. I'm drowning. I'm drowning in the wine, in my tears, in my own mind. This is torture.

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I wake up on the floor. My head is pounding. The light hurts. It all comes flooding back to me. It's not only the light that hurts, anymore. My head is pounding more now, wait, that's the door. I wobble over and open it.

"Lex.." Lily whispers and I know she forgives me. I know that no matter what I'll always have her. I fall into her open arms, sobbing.

When I pull back from the much needed embrace I see that her eyes aren't dry, either. We walk to the couch arm in arm. We sat just like we did when we were kids, my head is in her lap and she's playing with my hair.

"I'm back with Louis..." She says so quietly I almost don't catch it. I smile at her. As much as it hurts that I can never feel Harry's strong, inked, arms around me again or feel his lips against my temple when I'm stressed, I'm happy for her. She's all I have right now, so if she's happy, that's all that matters.

"That's great, Lil!" I say as she does god knows what to my hair. She lights up when I tell her how happy for her I am.

"He asked me to be his girlfriend!" She says excitedly.

"AND? WHAT DID YOU SAY?" I squeal.

"What do you think?" She laughs and smacks me with a pillow.

"I really am happy for you, Lil. I've missed you so much." I tell her, sincerely.

"I guarantee, I've missed you more." She smiles down at me.

As much as I miss Harry and need to see him and crave his touch, I have her again. She's all I have, but at least I have her.