Memories of Us

Chapter 5

I Think I Mean It.

"NO!!" Harry jerked forward, panting and in a cold sweat.

"We've been over this, Potter. Waking me up for sex is a turn-off. Go back to sleep." Draco rolled over so his back was to Harry.

The room was dark. The satin sheets and soft comforter weren't Harry's which only made him more uneasy. He recognized his surroundings but couldn't place them right away. His panic grew as he heard Draco call him by his last name. He pulled his knees to his chest as his panting turned to wheezing.

After a moment of Harry rocking back and forth beside him, Draco realized what was happening. He faced Harry and propped himself up on his elbow. "Hey," he soothed. "Hey, what's going on?" When Harry didn't look at Draco, he started to worry a bit more. He sat up fully in front of Harry. "What's wrong? Was it a bad dream? Look at me. It's just me." Draco reached his arms out to Harry but didn't initiate the touch.

Harry uncurled his arms from around his knees to touch Draco's hands. He lightly dragged his fingertips over the man's slim fingers and palms. After rubbing over the inside of his hands a couple times, he reached for Draco's bare shoulders. He began to relax some more, leaning towards Draco as he reassured himself that he was real.

Draco watched Harry, trying to be as still as possible as not to startle him. He closed his tired eyes as Harry ran his hands through Draco's white-blond hair. "Mmm," he hummed softly after a moment. "That feels nice." Harry's hands relaxed and fell to the bed. His breathing slowed too. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Harry nodded as Draco moved to sit between his back and the headboard, pulling Harry into his chest. Both men were in just their boxers and the warmth of Draco's skin helped Harry calm even further. "I was back at Hogwarts. I watched as you bled out when I cast the curse in the bathroom. I'd lost you and you thought I hated you and I thought you hated me and—" Draco squeezed Harry's shoulders supportively as he tried to get the words out. "—and then things changed and you were alive again. I was confused but so relieved and then we were in the Room of Requirement and everything was burning, but I didn't save you. I just watched you burn. That's when I woke up and you called me 'Potter' and I panicked even more."

Draco pressed a soft kiss to the top Harry's shoulder. "But you did save me. Both of those times and many more and everyday since then." Harry closed his eyes and leaned against Draco as he spoke. This time was different than when they usually got together; this time Harry knew it was more than just hooking up. Draco's statement encouraged that thought even more. "I'm ok, alright? And I don't hate you. I couldn't hate you. I love you, Harry." Draco didn't quite register the words when they first left his mouth. He was too exhausted to process that this was a serious statement.

"You - you love me?" Harry asked in disbelief. "No, you're just tired."

Draco huffed out a laugh. "Maybe I am. . . But I think I mean it."

Harry wanted to let himself believe Draco, but he knew it would likely lead to disappointment. Instead he dozed off in his lover's arms. They slept in this slightly uncomfortable position through the rest of the night. They didn't mention it the next morning.

The memories kept coming.

•••

You make me crazy.

Draco could see Harry at a table with Weasel and Granger. He looked good. The benefit was for one of the charities Hermione funded. Draco headed for the bar across the room.

He knew he shouldn't have come. It was a horrible idea. Granger said Harry would want him there, but after their last fight, there was no way that was true. He hadn't heard from Harry in over two weeks. That was the longest they'd gone without talking in months. This was the longest they'd stayed together since the first time Harry kissed him in the infirmary. Not that it really mattered now, Draco thought. They were likely over now.