Good Night, Lucy

Chapter 4: Seven

Seven

Inilayo ko nalang sana si Lucy sa lalaking iyon. Then, maybe, I wouldn't see her cry everytime.

Sad swollen eyes met my gaze. Lucy tried to avoid me by making a quick smile that is obviously a fake one and even tried to walk away from me.

Umiiwas. Mailap.

Hinawakan ko ang kamay nya at hinila sya papunta sa isang classroom na walang tao. Hindi sya pumiksi at nagmatigas man lang. Nakayuko sya sa harapan ko ngayon, not saying a word and I wanted to looked at her even if I knew what her gloomy face was.

I saw it a hundred times and seeing it now won't hurt me. But I was wrong because the moment I lifted her chin using my finger and met her gaze.

I lost it.

I gently wiped away her tears, maingat at kalkulado na tila ba ninamnam ko ang bawat sandaling ganito. "Iwan mo na.." saad ko habang nakatingin ng diretso sa kanyang mata.

I saw sadness in her eyes. "I can't.." She stated kasabay ng pag iwas nya ng tingin sa akin.

"Why?"

Bakit ba hindi nya maiwan maiwan ang lalaking iyon? I saw her happy with him, but the sadness is much greater than the happiness, so why stay?

Why Lucy? Why did you stay when it breaks you everyday?

Why?! Why do you still love him?!

Why can't you leave that man?

Tell me, 'cause I find it hard to understand.. To see the reason..

As the time goes by, I witnessed how Lucy changed. From a sunny weather to a gloomy one, I saw her bloomed to a rose with so much thorns.

I saw how she lost herself. "Umiiyak ka na naman." I stated when I saw her silently crying in front of her laptop. She immediately wiped her tears then gave me smile, sinubukan nya pa akong bigyan ng ngiti na nagsasabing okay lang, na ayos lang lahat.

She became a liar to herself. "Are you even happy?" I once asked when we are having our siesta to one of the cafeterias. Tinignan nya ako at ngumiti lang pero nagbabadya ang luha at kitang kita ko ang lungkot sa kanyang mata.

"Hiwalayan mo na Lucy." Muli kong untag sa kanya, sinimangutan nya lamang ako at umiling iling.

"Walang oras sayo? Kung mahal ka talaga ng lalaking yan bibigyan at bibigyan ka nya ng oras!" Komento ko ng maikwento sa akin ni Stella ang iniiyakan ni Lucy.

"You are never his priority." Dagdag ko pang komento dahil sa sobrang inis. Pinanlakihan ako ng mata ni Stella pero hindi ko sya pinansin. Lucy needs to wake up and if waking her up means I had to throw every little hurtful words of reality, then so be it.

Just to save her. Pero nung inaakala kong naililigtas ko sya ay nagkamali ako.

Akala ko'y ginigising ko sya pero isa pala ako sa hangin na umiihip sa kanyang mga kandila.

Depression and anxiety struck her. My overthinking Lucy cried to me last night, "What if ginawa nya ulit iyon, Sev?"

"What if maulit muli iyon.. I don't think I can bear that pain I've been through again." She cried as I embraced her. She's been crying for hours, habang nakasalampak sa sahig at nakasandal ang likod sa pader.

Walang tulog at kain.

The Lucy who caught my eye years ago is gone. Malayong malayo sa babaeng nakilala ko.