A Little Less Sixteen Candles... Continued

Fall From Grace

"You're not serious?" Joe asked, his brow creasing with the words. "Chicken?"
"No," Patrick laughed. "But it does taste surprisingly good. I mean, I wouldn't recommend it for you, vampire taste buds are, apparently, well... a little different."
"Can I ask another question?" Joe asked hesitantly.
"Sure," Patrick replied, with concern, detecting the uncertainty in Joe's voice.
"You," Joe too a brief pause, "you seem to be taking this really well. I mean... you're accepting it better than Pete. Way better than I could. I... I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm surprised."
"Hmm, yeah," Patrick nodded. "I can't really speak for Pete, he's got other issues, but maybe there's something inherent about the change that makes it feel normal?"
"But you don't seem so..."
"Angry?" Patrick offered.
"No," Joe agreed.
"You see Pete angry and you think he's angry at what he is. I realise now that that's not the case. That's the easy part to deal with."
"What's the hard part?" Andy asked, joining the conversation.
"I'm not the one that has to accept this. You do." Patrick admitted. "Yeah, I want to drink blood now and provided I keep a check on myself and do the right things, you'll be safe. And I know that, but, you can't trust me any more, not fully and I know that too. That's the hard part. I wouldn't have bitten you, Joe. I was just a bit overwhelmed when I first woke."
Joe smiled and nodded.
"So why is Pete so angry but you're not?" Andy asked, still unsure whether the question had been answered.
"Pete's angry at Beckett and his coven. How can I be angry at the person who turned me?"
"Pete?"
"And me for making him do it," Andy added.
Patrick smiled. "I can be angry at Beckett for what he did to Pete in the first place, and for forcing Pete's bloodlust to make him try to kill me. But I understand that you both did what you did because you wanted to save my life."
"But, real food, daylight and all that other stuff?"
Patrick offered a small shrug. "You've got to understand, it changes your priorities. You'd think you'd miss all that, but... it's not there. I'm still me, but with different needs."
"How do we know it's still you?" Andy asked with a frown.
"Well," Patrick sighed. "You don't and I can't prove it to you. You've read my notes, so I guess you know my theory on why Pete isn't evil."
"He tried to eat me!" Andy grumbled.
"He probably won't even remember that," Patrick observed. "He would have been really out of it at the time."
"Well, it's not something I can forget in a hurry."
"Can you forgive him?" asked Patrick, partly for Pete, partly testing the waters for his own condition.
"Well, if he's back with Beckett, it's probably better if I don't. He can't be trusted, no vampire can! I... Patrick... I... I'm sorry! I didn't mean you."

Patrick lowered his eyes. Andy's contradictory responses reminded him of how they had all been when Pete first returned to them. How they wanted to trust him, but couldn't. Patrick nodded his understanding.

"It's okay. When you're ready to, I hope you'll just accept it."
"And if we can't or we don't know when?" Andy asked hesitantly. "Or if you're really not?"
"Well, then I hope you'll kill me."

Andy and Joe's eyes widened at the words. Of all the things they had expected Patrick to say, that certainly wasn't one of them.

"Kill you?" Joe managed to say.
"Yeah," Patrick nodded sincerely. "I don't want to stay chained up forever. If you can never trust me, then you at least have to release me that way."
"I can't do that," Joe shook his head.
"Then I hope you trust me," Patrick's expression was a mask of sincerity. "This is not how I want to spend eternity."

Andy took a deep breath at the words; it was quite an ultimatum.

"Can we get you anything?" he asked finally.
"Umm... I could probably manage another one of those," Patrick replied pointing at the empty glass.
"Er... yeah," Andy nodded, "there's plenty left."

*

Pete withdrew slowly from Beckett's wrist and, licking his lips clean of all remaining blood, looked up expectantly. He was surprised to see that Beckett appeared almost asleep. Leaning back in the chair, eyes closed, a slight smile on his handsome, boyish face.