Chance

Chapter 11 - Hear Me Out

    My fist tapped on the large wooden door and a few seconds later it swung open, revealing Jennifer with a large smile on her face.

"What are you doing here?" Her voice was filled with genuine curiosity.

I shrugged, "Don't you ask who's at the door before opening?"

Jen snorted and enveloped me into a tight hug which I returned, "You know that I have security cameras. What I want to know is how come you didn't tell me you were coming? I might have had a guy over here." She winked once she let me go.

I chuckled and stepped into the house, "I'd be a weirdo and wait in my car until you were done. I didn't even really know I was coming."

"What happened?"

My plan did not include looping in the rest of my friends but I needed someone to talk to. My mom was my first option but she was working and I didn't want to burden her with my problems so someway somehow, I ended up coming here.

"Cami and I got into it."

"Over what?"

I jumped into the whole story of my plan to date Ben to get back at him and I even went into detail about the dates we had been on and how I felt about all of it. In the process, she had led us to her living room and we made ourselves comfortable on the couch. Jen only interrupted a few times to ask a couple of questions.

Jen nodded and soaked in everything that I unleashed on her. She didn't seem at all bothered nor was there any judgement in the way she looked at me, "Before we talk about why you any Cami had a falling out, I need you to answer this honestly. Do you like him?"

That wasn't something I was prepared to answer. I hadn't thought about it. Sure, I enjoyed his company but did I like him?

"I don't know."

"Okay, tell me what happened this morning."

"Last night Ben was telling me that he tried calling me in the weeks following the breakup and I had no recollection of that so I asked Cami if I told her anything about it and-"

"I have a bad feeling about this," Jen interrupted and I shot her a look, "Oops, carry on."

"That's when she told me that she was deleting his calls so I didn't see them, she claimed that she was just trying to help."

Jen sighed and took my hand. Somehow I knew she was about to scold me or at least it felt like she was going to, "You know that I love you and I'm not choosing sides but you're being too harsh on Cami."

"I didn't tell you what I said to her!"

She shot me a knowing look, "I've been in arguments with you before. You completely shut down and refuse to talk until you've sorted it all out in your head. Correct me if I'm wrong." I remained silent, "Right so that means that you left home immediately after you shut down and came here. The two of you need to talk it out. She only did what she thought was best for you at the time and sure, she should have told you before she did it but that time has long gone and look at how much she supports you in everything you do. It's ridiculous to be this mad at her for deleting a few calls. If you were in her shoes, you may have done something similar if you felt like she'd be better off after."

I groaned and dragged my hand down my face. She was right. I knew it was petty and childish to get as upset as I did but it happened anyway. I was so caught up in my feelings that I refused to see Cami's side in all of this. It was only fair to the both of us to drop this petty disagreement as soon as possible. It wasn't worth it. It was such a small issue that there was no need for me to even leave the way I did.

"You're now seeing where you went wrong, huh?"

No words were necessary. She already knew so I nodded and gave her a small smile. As wild as she could be, she was wise too. It was the perfect balance.

"Tell me more about this Ben thing."

I giggled, the hopeless romantic in Jen was starting to crawl out, "I already told you everything!"

"You skimmed over the top. I want to know how you really feel. You said you don't know if you like him but be honest with yourself. You'd never flip on Cami like that if she had deleted calls from Ezra. Quite frankly, you may have taken her phone and deleted a couple of her calls too."

A small laugh escaped me. I didn't think i would delete her calls but I most likely would have brushed it off if she had deleted Ezra's calls.

"Okay... I seriously don't know how to feel about him. As I said, it all started with me trying to get him to fall for me before breaking up with him like he did me but with every passing date, I notice that he's chipping away at my resolve. I don't think about it much and I try to deny it but I feel it happening and I'm scared."

Jen gave my hand a light squeeze, causing me to smile at the simple gesture, "Why?"

I shrugged, giving myself a few seconds to form my words, "When I was with Ezra I feared nothing. I had already been with a few guys since Ben, which you know, so when Ezra and I settled into a relationship, that fear of being hurt again had already left me. Now I'm dating the guy that broke me once before and I'm scared that if I don't go through with this plan or if I fail at it then it means he's getting the power to shatter me again."

"Don't think that way. All that negative thinking does is hinder you. So what if it doesn't work out? You got through it once and you'll get through it again. Don't be that person that hurts people because you got hurt. That isn't you. Addison Mills does not play with feelings." The passion in her voice was so moving, so convincing that I knew there needed to be a long and hard look inward. "How many times were you sitting across from me while I went through a breakup? You always had words of encouragement that helped me get through whatever I was going through. You need to take your own advice.

"If you want to date him then do it without hesitation. Do it without any malice or hurt. Treat it like you're now meeting for the first time. People can change a lot in two years and you owe yourself the opportunity to see if he's different. The childish games aren't cutting it."

I came over here to vent about Cami, instead I got put in my place. Jen was never one to hide her thoughts and feelings, none of my friends were, but she laid it all on the table and it was now my time to sort through it all. I wasn't expecting to have a whole discussion about what I was doing with Ben but I'd be lying if I said I regretted telling her.

She knew all that I went through and she didn't bash him or me for trying to date him. Instead, she took a more mature approach that was greatly appreciated.

"I don't know what to say," I admitted

Jen pulled me into a tight hug, her dark, wavy hair, tickling my nose, "You don't have to say anything. Let's watch a movie. You choose."

I grinned and grabbed the remote and switched the TV on. I searched through the endless options while Jen made two bowls of popcorn. Once she came back, she placed one bowl on my lap and settled in beside me with her bowl tucked between her legs. I started the movie and got cozy, every thought and worry leaving my mean, even just for a little while. 

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It's literally a race now to get this story completed and it's so exciting! Thank you so much for reading :)