the city // l.h

2

I am only as young as the minute is. - I love these lyrics because there's not a lot to find that is more true than that. I'm no poet, but I enjoy words made with art and art made with words. This is one of the only things I have, along with the hateful words that constantly run through my brain.

I'm not so sure of how to connect these lyrics to my thoughts but I do know that they must somehow apply to my life. Wow, I'm lost in my thoughts again. This seems to happen to me more than once every day lately, probably because there's nothing else that keeps me busy.

I finally decide to rise out of my bed and at least check the time, I had just woken up a few minutes before. I sit up and reach to my nightstand, picking up my phone and clicking it on.

9:47; it reads. This is unusual. I usually wake up around 12:00. I quit school late in freshman year, simply because it was a waste of time.

Realizing that I most likely wouldn't be able to fall asleep again, I decided that I would walk to Starbucks and drink a coffee, probably have a smoke on the way.

I get up out of bed, feeling dizzy and blind from having to suddenly stand. I walk over to my closet, examining my clothing.

I don't exactly care what I look like, there's no one I need to impress. Looking over everything I have, I grab a fitted black long-sleeve shirt, and black ripped skinny jeans.

I already had socks on from the night before, and I sleep in my bra usually.

I lock the door, and take off my pajamas. I simply glance at the ancient and recent scars on my arms, and my thighs. Nothing new to me.

I pick up my shirt and slip it on, repeating this with my jeans. I walk into the bathroom to take a quick look at myself before leaving.

My makeup from the previous day is still there, looking bad as ever. It didn't look all that bad really, so I didn't try to remove it. I brush my hair and my teeth, that's enough for me.

I walk out of my bathroom, back into my bedroom. I pick up my phone, cigarettes, a lighter and my wallet, making sure I have a few dollars.

I walk to the door, unlocking it and walking out into the rest of the apartment. I don't try looking for my sister, my knowledge of her probably being at work.

I walk down towards the kitchen, and out the door, locking it. I stop outside of the door, picking up the ever-so-familiar pack of cigarettes along with my ever-so-familiar black lighter.

I take out a cigarette, lighting it after putting the pack back in my pocket. I bring it to my lips, breathing in the smoke as I walk towards the coffee shop.

They say each cigarette you smoke takes away one day of your life. Maybe that's why I started smoking in the first place.

I soon arrive at Starbucks, dropping my cigarette somewhere. I walk into the place I go almost everyday.

When I get up to the counter to order, I see a not-so-familiar face behind the counter. A tall blonde boy with beautiful blue eyes, and the usual uniform on.

He turns all the way to face me. I get a full glimpse of his face, seeing that he is the type to be infatuated with- but I'm probably wrong. I'm always wrong.

"H-how can I help you?" He asks. He has an Australian accent, I can tell. What is an Australian boy doing here, working at a coffee shop?

"Um, I'll have the usual." I reply.

"Excuse me, but I'm new here. I don't have the slightest idea of what your usual is." He says, scratching the back of his head nervously.

"Oh, right. I'm sorry. I'll have a tall quad iced venti sugar free vanilla soy, extra ice latte" I said maybe too quickly.

"Oh. Wow. Okay, I think I got it. Okay."

"Do you need me to repeat it? It's a lot to remember." I ask.

"No, I've got this under control." He says, still looking nervous.

"Okay... Thanks." I replied.

"Yeah, anytime. That'll be four twenty-four." He says.

I reach in my wallet getting out five dollars. I hand the money to the boy.

"Okay, thanks. What's your name?" He asks while putting the money in the register, giving back my change, and picking up an empty cup and a sharpie.

"Marina." I reply.

As he writes my name on the cup, I hear him say, "beautiful name."

"Thanks." I say, blushing a little.
He just smiled back at me. I walk away, finding an empty table and sitting down.

I stare out the window, thinking about life, death, and song lyrics until I hear my name called by the same boy who took my order.

I walk up, taking my drink and sitting back down. I take a drink of it, staring out the window again. Taking another sip, I realize that something other than my name is written on the cup.

It reads, "Marina, I don't know you but I think you're very beautiful -Luke <3".

Who is Luke? No one has ever done anything like this to me before, so it's kind of strange and new to me. Weird. Really weird. But yet very sweet.

I look back over at everyone behind the counter, looking for a name tag that says "Luke". I finally get a glimpse of one.

I look at the boy with the name tag, to see that it's the same person who took my order and complimented me on my name.

Wow. This is almost unreal, he doesn't look like the type that would go for a girl like me... at all. Not that he's going after me.

This seems impossible, like it was a mistake. But then I see Luke finally realize me staring at him. I look into his eyes, and see his flushed cheeks. It was him.

I notice how he keeps turning away, getting embarrassed because of me looking at him. It's actually nothing but adorable.

I have no idea what to do at this point because I'm highly insecure, definitely not the confident type. I want him to know that he's hot, but I'm not good at making friends or keeping friends.

I wish I knew how to tell him that.

-

A/N: the girl in the photo attached Kaya Scodelario, AKA Marina. Thank you guys for reading, I love yous xx