the city // l.h

3

Lost.

Nothing but lost, everything but okay. I can only wish I had some type of drug. Being numb to everything especially my emotions sounds like a good solution for me.

But some reason, today I feel just a little bit better. Not happy, just better. I don't know why... I certainly don't know how, but I don't care either.

I didn't exactly get to explain to the boy at the coffee shop that it's not him, it's me. Me and my eternal social problems.

I guess I'm just too afraid to talk to him, I don't think that will change. If I do find a way to talk to him, I need to tell him that if he wants to be friends with me it isn't going to work.

What am I thinking... There's no way that he could even want that, or anyone could want that with me.

Well, today I feel like drinking coffee. So, unfortunately I'll just have to hope Luke isn't there so I don't get caught in a situation where I have to converse with him. Or anyone.

Today I am already awake, and it's about eight - thirty right now. This is really unusual for me, considering I can't remember the last day I was up this early.

I'm sitting on the couch, next to my wallet, phone, and cigarettes. I'm used to being alone all day every day because Jenn is always at work. She works hard for us to have a place to stay, and I truly appreciate that.

I might not always show it, but I really love my sister... and I'm extremely grateful for everything she does.

I should probably get going, maybe Luke doesn't start his job until later and I can get in and out quickly without seeing him.

With All Time Low's Weightless ' song lyrics in my head, I finally get off my ass. I grab everything I need off the couch, and stuff it all in my pocket.

I make sure I have a key to the apartment, lock the door, and walk out into the cool air. It's a sweater - paws kind of day for me. But then again, isn't every day?

I walk around the corner and the rest of the short distance to Starbucks. I walk in to feel air that is much warmer than outside.

Looking straight to the counter, I see that Luke isn't behind it. I guess I got lucky. The Ryan that I'm used to is standing behind the counter, ready for me to ask for the same thing as always.

"Yes?" He asks, half-smirking.

"Um, I'll take the usual." I reply.

"Of course you will." He smiles.

I smile back at him, handing him the exact amount I owe. "Thank you." I say.

"No, thank you." I smile, sort of, and walk away to sit down. I start towards my usual table, until I see something unexpected.

Luke... dammit.

He stares up at me with his sparkling blue eyes, and I notice something that I somehow didn't before. He has a lip ring.

"Hello Marina." He smiles.

"Hi Luke." I say, crossing my arms while I stand in front of my usual table, only it isn't empty like it usually is.

I turn around and start toward another table on the other side of the place, until I feel someone gently pull on my arm.

I turn around to see Luke looking kind of sad.

"Do you just really hate me?" He asks me.

"No, Luke. I don't know you." I reply.

"Well, you seem to know my name real good." He smirks.

"Yeah maybe that's because you have a big ass name tag." I remark.

"Y'know, I'm having the best time standing here and making a scene with you in the middle of Starbucks, but we could sit down, yeah?" He gestures to the table he had just stood from.

"There's like no one here, we're not making a scene." I stand in the same spot with my arms crossed.

"Okay..."

"Ugh, fine." We walk over to the table, me sitting across from Luke. I set my drink down on the table.

I watch Luke sit back and get comfortable in his chair.

"Why are you here with that uniform on if you're not working?" I ask.

"My shift doesn't start 'till nine-thirty. I just wanted to be early, was kinda hoping I'd see you again."

"Well, like I said... I don't know you." I say softly.

"Do you want to?" He sits up in his chair, looking me in the eye.

"Um. I.. I dunno. Maybe?" I mumble.
I stare at his huge smile, which made me smile also.

"Okay, well what's your full name?" He asks.

"Marina Stonem."

"Wait... No middle name?"

"No. My parents didn't give me one." I state.

"No way, that's like impossible." He says.

"Not impossible. Just unusual." I say.

He smiles again.

After that, we kept talking for what seemed like ages. Laughing, smiling, finding out so much about each other. We talked until it was time for him to start working, then we exchanged numbers and I went home.

No one that I can remember could ever make me laugh like he did.

I had the best time just talking to him, and I've never been that comfortable with someone. I like Luke, I really do. I'm definitely interested in this boy.