When The Clock Strikes (ONC 2020)

8| Feel

"Tell me something about you," I said to Ryder before I took a sip of my Long Island. We've been at Down the Rabbit Hole for about an hour; and so far I was really liking Ryder. Unfortunately, that wasn't a good thing.

He smiled at me and I tried to look away. God, this man had an amazing smile. It was one of those smiles that made you weak in the knees. It was one of those smiles that you remembered in your dreams. It was a smile that a girl tells her best friend about. That fact made me feel a little guilty.

I still haven't told Cam about my little midnight kiss with Ryder on the subway. I don't know why I felt the need to keep it a secret. I just couldn't bring myself to tell her. That wasn't like me. I always told her everything.

"Well," Ryder said, interrupting my thoughts, "I guess you can call me an artist. I like to draw and I can also play the piano."

That definitely peaked my interest. "Really? Wow, that's pretty impressive." I glanced away shyly. "I actually like to sing."

When I still didn't meet his gaze, I felt his fingers brush against my cheek. I finally met his stare. "Are you embarrassed that you like to sing?" he asked curiously.

Honestly, I was. That wasn't something I told most people. "No, I'm not embarrassed," I lied. When he gave me a look that said he didn't believe me, I laughed lightly. "Well, a little."

"Why are you embarrassed?"

I took another sip of my drink. Then another. And another. This was never a topic I liked to discuss. "Um, my mom used to sing. She was amazing, actually." I tucked my hair behind my ear. "She always wanted me to sing with her and she would try to train me. Then-- she and my father passed away."

He was quiet for a few minutes before he said, "So now when you sing, you think of her."

I gave him a sad smile. "I always think of her." It was the truth. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think of my parents. I know I was little when they passed, but they were never far from my mind.

Ryder glanced to the jukebox before he looked back to me. "Will you sing something for me?"

I nearly choked on my drink. "Wha-- No. I can't do that." Hell, no. That was something I didn't do. I did not sing in front of people. Well, except my mother.

Thankfully, he didn't push me. "Okay," he laughed, "no singing. Will you dance with me?"

I looked from the dance floor back to him. He had a patient and hopeful look on his face. It appeared he was holding his breath while he waited for my answer. "Okay," I finally said quietly.

He smiled at me as he slid off the barstool and held out his hand to me. I placed mine in his and he guided me to the small dance floor. My heart was racing as I followed him. Its been so long since I've danced with someone. Yes, I went a few nights ago with Cam and Kyle, but it wasn't the same.

A slow song came on and I got even more nervous. Once we got on the dance floor, we faced each other. There was a moment where we both paused. His eyes met mine and most of my nervousness melted away. I felt his hands slid around my waist. I wrapped my arms around his neck and started to move my body to the music.

I kept my eyes on everything except Ryder as we danced. My emotions were all over the place. I'm some ways, I still felt inadequate in regards to Adam. But at the same time, I felt a strong desire for Ryder. It was all so confusing.

When the song ended, he pulled away from me. His eyes searched mine. Adam never looked at me this way. The way Ryder was looking at me...it made me feel like I was the only person in this bar.