Smuts and Fluff ✨ (READ DESCRIPTION)

My Summer Will Come ~ Part 2

TW: mention of self harm

the bold is benji talking to you, the reader. the couple sections of italics are flashbacks. hope you like this second rendition <3

☾☀︎︎

you don't remember my story...

all you can think about, is your own story.

you can not heal me.

you're not a healer.

you can not save me.

or hide me.

this is my story.

i have to make peace with it.

❀

once upon a time, there was a boy, who was being torn apart.

and he learned not to trust.

to always have his guard up...

sometimes, my life feels like a circle. a never ending, on going cycle. and i don't know how to stop it.. or change it.. or break it. and when i finally come close-

it starts all over again.

a whirlwind. a tornado. set out, to destroy me-

after everything, jorge came back. he lives with us now. he is my everything. and i am unconditionally, and irrevocably in love with him. there's nothing that could tear us apart. maybe it seems over dramatic, unhealthy even, how much i am in love with him.. but it's true. and i won't ever let him go. not again.

things aren't the way they used to be, exactly. he's different. and distant sometimes. but i wouldn't trade having him back over anything in the world. i would be broken without him. and there's something about him that just makes my life so much better. better than it would ever be without him. with him there, my dull, black and white life turns technicolor. everything is... okay. i, am okay, for the first time.

sometimes things begin to get better.

life falls into a new rhythm.

a new normal.

and, it may not be the best..

but i've made peace with it.

people came over yesterday. two. a man and a woman. they wanted to meet jorge. i was told to stay in my room the whole time, though i listened to the quiet murmur of their voices through my door. it was all just basic questions. basic, "get to know each other" questions. but when jorge came back anxiety kicked in. i wouldn't let him leave my sight for anything. i would break down if he tried to leave my eye line, no matter what the reason. i couldn't handle him being taken away from me again. i can't trust myself enough to say that i would be okay. that i would even, be.

and it feels like almost..

i might be happy.

maybe i can write my own story.

start from scratch ?

forget all the past...

but then.

of course.

someone else, makes a choice.

and leaves me alone to figure it out.

the ear piercing ring of the dismissal bell rang through my ears. i got up from my seat, shouldering my backpack. i made my way to my moms classroom. she was a teacher at my school. helpful, but not very appreciated. as i came to the doorway i stopped abruptly, realizing that there was a sub in her place.