Same Time

twenty.

j a i m e e

+

The picture of Shayden and his Mom stands proudly in his living room. Both our stares focus on it as the atmosphere in the room shifts, melancholy looming silently as we begin to reflect and reminisce on the time we've missed.

"I really miss her." He starts off softly, "She was my only family. It feels weird that she's not here anymore. It's been a year and I still don't want to know how to live life without her, I don't know how to."

"She was an amazing woman, Shay."

"Through and through." Shayden turns to look at me, I move to meet his gaze. "Does it ever get easier?"

I exhale, deciding to answer honestly without sugarcoating the pain. "Sometimes, you catch yourself forgetting they're gone. It's like a split second where something happens and you think about telling them, and then it hits you that you can't. But it never got easier, I just got used to how it felt. Not that I had much of a choice."

"Fifteen was too young to lose your entire lives." He whispers. "I still remember it like it was yesterday."

I know what he's referring to instantly. He was with me when I got the phone call to go to the hospital, when I was told that my parents were in a car accident.

A drunk driver was speeding down the road and my parents were on their way back from their annual anniversary dinner. My father died instantly, according to the autopsy report. My mother died in hospital around 2 hours later. By that stage, Remi, Shayden and I were sitting in the room with her when she left. I held her hand in mine, feeling her skin turn from warm to cold within minutes. Shay's Mom, Shania, picked us up from the hospital. Remi was 18, just having lost his parents and now needing to find a way to care for me and sort everything to do with finances and a home for us. Shania let us stay with her, fed and clothed us for around a year until our parents funds came through. It funded a deposit for an apartment and Remi got a job instantly. I worked on top of High School and we made it. But we wouldn't have done it without her love and support, she became a second mother to us.

"How did she die?" I ask him the one question that I'm not too sure I want to know the answer to. The words clog up in my throat and it almost hurts to speak them aloud.

"Lung cancer. She lasted four months after the diagnosis."

"Fuck, Shay." I say, my tone warped with sympathy as I ran my fingers through my hair. "I-"

"It's fine, doll. I know she's with me and she's probably going to kick my ass for being late for work." He smiles, a sharp contrast to the defeated frown that adorned his face only a few moments ago. He leans over and kisses my forehead, smoothing out the hair falling onto my temple. "I'll see you soon, okay? Will you be alright?"

"Of course." I lean in and peck his lips lightly, "Come home soon though, okay?"

"I promise." He swears softly before leaving me alone in his apartment.

Around an hour after he's left, I'm watching Supernatural on Netflix surrounded by empty chocolate wrappers. The door opens to reveal Tory, who walks over to the couch and collapses onto it once he notices me.

"Hey T." I greet, nodding my head at him.

"Hey." He grunts back. My eyebrows furrow at his unusually sad tone.

"Tory?" I lower the volume on the television, sitting up to give him my full attention "Are you okay?"

He stays silent and I don't want to push, but I can't help but worry at the sight of the defeated expression on his face.