Same Time

twenty-seven.

j a i m e e

+

Laying in Shayden's bed together, Youtube videos are on replay on his TV as I rest my head on his chest, drawing circles onto his open skin.

Since last night, we'd just held each other. Baking and relaxing in each other's warmth. It still felt so surreal that I had a love so unconditional- a fiancé that I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

We're giggling at one of the vines when Tory walked into the room followed by Taylor.

Our bodies tense in unison, I go to stand up with every intention of leaving when Shayden grips my hand and shakes his head at me.

Tory seeming to notice the awkward tension, grabs the bottle of tequila next to Shay's bed and walks straight back out.

It's literally 10am.

I haven't seen Taylor since that day in the diner, when he freaked out about Cameron. Seeing him now causes anxiety to course through my veins.

"Ward," Shayden starts off, a warning prevalent in his tone. "You have 60 seconds to tell me what the fuck you want before I throw you out."

"Are you not even going to hear me out?" Taylor's forehead furrows, seemingly baffled by his best friend's attitude. "What happened to bros before hoes?"

"Your time's ticking." He says, rubbing circles into the palm of my hand. "And if you refer to my fiancée as a hoe one more time, you'll end up in the ER with a broken nose."

Butterflies erupt in my stomach at being referred to as Shayden's fiancée. If Taylor's surprised by the news, he doesn't show it.

"Look, I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. I'm sorry." Taylor looks directly at me, "Cameron and I...There was a time when we were more than just friends. And we never told you because I didn't want anyone knowing about me. So when I found out about..." He pauses, swallowing the lump in his throat. "When I found out about the rape, I found it hard to get my head around him possibly doing something like that. But I should've believed you instantly. I'm a shitty friend and I understand that you'll never forgive me but I needed to apologize, nothing I said was fair on either of you."

"What about Libbie?" I ask, considering the fact that Taylor was so obviously into her too.

"I'm pansexual. Known since I was about 10. Because of Cam." He replies stiffly.

Shayden kisses the side of my head softly as I sit and think in silence. Taylor's words were unforgivable, but he's been my brother since we were 13. I love him on the same scale as Remi, which is why his words hurt so much.

My head's battered. Having to deal with all these emotions so early in the morning is almost unbearable, making me understand why Tory was so enthusiastic to steal Shayden's tequila.

He better have saved some for me.

"Cameron took a lot from me, Tay." I finally stomach the guts to speak, but I can't help the way everything in me hurts as I say the words aloud. "He took and ruined so many parts of myself that I can't even stomach looking at pictures of him from when we were kids. He destroyed my trust, he made me overthink every single thing any boy or man has ever said to me. He made me scared to leave my house, made me scared to tell anyone. And I'll never understand it, but I've learnt to come to terms with the fact I'll never know why he did that to me. But all I know is that, I'll never forgive you for what you said about me and I'll never forget it either. You're my brother and we swore unconditional loyalty to one another once we started using that term to describe one another."