The Bad, The Ugly, And Us

Losing It

"Julia we've been on the move so much and for so long I haven't even had time to reflect on the shit we've been through and seen."
"Big Bro it-"
"No please Julia, let me get this out."
"My best friend Andre is dead, killed by the military because he was bitten, and I haven't even found the time to cry or get emotional, I shot two soldiers in the fucking head and threw the other at that fucking soldier, and we just witnessed Eric put a bullet into the skull of Andrew without a second thought and I was barely phased. What the fuck is happening to me." I place my hands on my head trying to muster up the tears, but I can't force myself to cry.
"Big Bro, you can't best yourself up for that, those soldiers were bad people they tried to rape me for christ sake. Everything that's happened to us is in the past, I'm still alive and you're still alive we need to try and move on. It's why the first night I told Derrick I wanted to come and join this mansion. I can't let my fear, my past experiences to take over everything I do in my life. I love you brother, and never once have I seen you for anything but what you are, the kindest and most caring soul I've ever met. You've kept me alive despite everything and I don't know how to ever thank you."
"Thanks Julia, it means a lot to me, I'll try and shake this off and make sure I continue to do what's right for us." I give Julia a big hug. We sit up there for about another hour before we decide that it's time to go inside. We stop in front of the door as we hear a fuss going on inside.
"What the fuck Max, you're supposed to be with me on this not on the side of the fucking crazy guy sulking is his room."
"Crazy guy? You're the one who just shot his brother in the fucking head with his own rifle without hesitation, you think that's someone I wanna be with on the road."
"Yes I do, I have the stones to do what is right, that's more than can be said for any fucker here, Derrick the delusional leader, and even that Dylan dude and his stupid fucking sister." I go inside the house. "Eric is there a fucking problem?"
"Yeah, I'm getting kicked out of here for doing what any sane guy would have done. How is any of this fair? And now my own girlfriend won't even leave with me, what the hell."
"You stole his rifle, threw him to the ground and then proceeded to blow his brother's brains out without a second thought."
"I care about all you guys, I had to do it."
"Oh yeah?" Julia chimed in, "I could have sworn you just called me his stupid fucking sister." Eric looks at me, then at Max, and then lastly at Julia. "You know what, fuck you all."
Eric leaves the mansion without a single look back. "Max I'm uh sorry about what happened with Eric." I approach Max and sit down next to her. "It's okay Dylan really, he was starting to lose himself more and more the past few weeks.",
"What do you mean?"
"Well he tried to peer pressure me into having sex with him and kept vaguely talking about forming a suicide pact with some pills he found." I think back to the gas station, he must have picked up those pills when he went behind the counter to hand me the ammo.
"Oh my god, he seems to have really lost his shit"
"Yeah while you were on watch I had to stop him from killing Derrick. He was so afraid of being out there by himself he was gonna kill another innocent man just to stay at the mansion."
"Did he say anything about harmind us Max?"
"No as far as I know, he wanted you both here because he saw you guys as valuable assets. After everything he said and did, I couldn't bring myself to leave with him. I don't know if I ever even loved him." I put my hand on Max's shoulder to console her, I really didn't know what else to say or do.