Love and Lies ~ TsukkiYama

Chapter 3

Warnings:

This story includes things like talk of eating and mental disorders, slight cursing, angst, Homophobia, and things like being sick.

This is a fanfiction, if you have anorexia and/or bulimia, please don't do the things in this story. Please get help from a professional, if you need somebody to talk to, I'll be here for you ^-^

Please stay strong even though it's hard, I promise the hardships will be worth it one day.

Viewer discretion is advised.

"So Tsukishima, explain yourself.."

Tsukishima stared at the floor, his brain frantically hunting for a good enough excuse. He couldn't say that he was sick because then she would tell him to skip practise and he would fall behind the others.

If he told her that he was stressed about things, Yamaguchi who he knew was outside waiting for him, would hear that and worry about him non-stop.

And if he told her the truth about his problems, she would call his parents, Yamaguchi would worry more than ever and he probably couldn't attend practise. This was definitely the worst option.

But on the other hand, if he pretends that there's nothing wrong, Yamaguchi won't believe him, and still worry about him non-stop.

"Tsukishima! I asked you a question, what's been up with you recently?" She asked again, her voice steely and cold. "I'm fine, I just got a little caught up in my thoughts. Sorry, Miss ****" Tsukishima lied, his gaze still directed at the floor.

"Alright, don't let it happen again. You may leave." And with that, he walked out of the room, nearly bumping into Yamaguchi, who was leaning on the wall next to the door.

"Tsukki! Are you okay? Also, we have practise today remember? And oh! We're late already, let's hope Daichi won't get mad and make us do extra laps."

"mmh."

They walked to practise together, a sense of uneasiness trailing after them like a long snake. The gym seemed like the last place Tsukishima wanted to be at right now, he usually enjoyed practice at least a little bit. His anorexia and bulimia usually didn't take so much out of him, but it had gotten worse recently.

"I can't wait until this is over, I really need to get this food out of me." Another wave of guilt hit him, as he remembered the green-brown haired boy's words.

"I don't want to lose you"

That was the first time anybody said that to him. His parents and brother loved him dearly, but they knew nothing about his mental health and they would never understand it, for them, you just had to stop worrying about things and get on with life. Easier said than done. The team just saw him as some salty jerk, but Yamaguchi... didn't.

God knows why.

Though Tsukishima never acts like it, he cares deeply about his best friend. More than anyone. He probably would die for him, hell no. He would die for him. And he knew how upset Yamaguchi would be if anything ever happened to him.

"From this day forth, I promise something. I won't puke up my food, I will eat normally. And I will stay by his side!"

Yeah.

That's what he thought.

But things aren't that easy, obviously.

All throughout practise, he felt like he was going to be sick. Pain jabbed his stomach repeatedly, making him bite his lip all of a sudden when it hit him somewhere else. The taste of blood lingered in his mouth, after biting his lip too hard. It made him crave the sweet release of having no food in his stomach even more. It was like an addiction, that would come back to haunt him, that he was desperate to ease.