stage fright
As I walked up to the front, my lips trembled with every step I took, my legs heavy, not wanting to stand in front of thousands of students. Before I reached the stage, I stopped, just for a second, thinking twice about what I was about to do.
'Would people actually care about what I have to say?'
I continued to walk up the stage, like a duckling just learning how to walk, being careful not to trip and make a fool out of myself. Holding on to the script I probably double checked a few too many times, I quickly wiped the sweat off my hands onto my favourite pair of jeans, as discretely as possible. As I looked out into the crowd, their eyes slowly turned to look at me, a silent blank stare, possibly a sense of judgement and arrogance. My cheeks flushed and my eyes teared up as I started reading my page.
'One word at a time, one word at a time..' I told myself. My hands trembled, shaking the piece of paper as I tried desperately to read the next words. I looked into the audience trying to practice eye contact like I did in front of the safety of my mirror, however my eyes darted back to my page again. Words scrambled out of my mouth at rapid speed as I tried to regain control of my body, trying to not mumble the speech I was trying to give...ugh, no hope.
After what felt like hours of torture, I finally finished my speech. The audience clapped in unison and I walked down the stage, embarrassed and unfocused.
My head spins with questions. "Did they like it? They probably just clapped out of courtesy"
As soon as I got back to my seat, my body slumped back into my chair, moulding itself perfectly into the sculpture of it. My cheeks slowly disappeared from the colour of crimson and I felt a rush of relief through my entire body. Ahh, back where I am meant to be, merely a follower hidden in the crowd.
Crazy how that was 2 years ago, where every being in my body told me not to speak because no one would listen. Where every voice inside my head told me that I wasn't good enough, that no one would value my opinion, no one would care. And I listened because I believed it.
YOU ARE READING
Voices
Romance"I thought I was over it, that the past was behind me. Yet, voices still constantly close into my thoughts, having more control of me as each day passes, surrounding me, criticising my every move. The feeling of getting intimate with someone scared...
