beauty is in the eyes of the beholder
I sat on the bench as I watched my friends try on a rainbow assortment of dresses, from blues, to yellows to pinks, my head was spinning as the different shades of colours rapidly changed, like I was blinded by automatic neon lights that changed every second, manipulating your eyes to have to shift to compensate for the different light spectrums, after a while causing your vision to become blurry and your head swarming around like bees, trying to take control of one's body again.
We got up to go to the next clothing store, dragging our heavy shopping bags with us, even though we have basically raided every store in sight. As we go into the next shop, right from the corner of my eye, I saw a glimpse of a shimmery fabric reflecting the bright lights of the mall, and I couldn't help but turn around and step closer to the dress, filled with curiosity. I stood stunned as I got closer and closer to the dress, the lace detailing precise and unique with a gem placed equally spaced apart, each thread sewn individually, delicate and smooth. The colour of maroon splashed across the dress, a colour that I wanted to portray, a person filled with passion and strength.
But before I had more time to gape at the beautiful dress, I was dragged into the store.
"I saw how you looked at the dress, it would look perfect on you" Jaden said. I couldn't help but smile back in gratitude, a person that took notice of my desires.
After I found the right size, I ran into the dressing room more excited than I ever felt and zipped myself into the dress. The length was just right, a little higher than my knees, not exposing too much. It was an off the shoulder dress, something that represented innocence and youth, even though mine was snatched away many years ago. The dress was tight at the top and flowy at the bottom, hugging my body and showcasing my slim figure. I felt like this dress was made for me. Like Jaden said, it was indeed perfect.
I walked out of the dressing room, feeling like I was ready for the runway as my friends looked at me, with widened eyes and their mouth ajar.
"Um... You Look Amazing" Avery exclaimed.
"You look ready for the party", Dylan blurted out.
"Thank you guys...wait, Party, what Party?" I wondered, suddenly feeling self-conscious about my appearance.
"Dylan!" Jaden shouted. "You weren't supposed to tell her anything"
"Whoops, it may have accidentally slipped", Dylan said, sounding apologetic.
As I now knew the truth, Jaden explained to me how there was a party that was going to be held this Friday, and people from the university were going to be there as it was the first party of the year, a fresh start to the new school term. I wondered about who was going to be there, the new people I was going to meet. Would they actually like me? Would they want to potentially be friends with me and get to know me? My mind slowly darted back to someone, a certain dark green eyed guy. I really hoped he was going to be there. Before I had time to think of something to say. My mouth blurted out "Yes". Ugh, I really needed to control my mouth. I was the best at it, the best at hiding my emotions, the best at hiding behind the crowd, never being noticed. Yet he threw me off, his darn eyes and ooh his darn dimples, his stupid cute dimples.
"I knew she would agree," and with that, they walked off, clinging onto each other's arms, leaving me there, quickly gathering my thoughts and rushing to catch up to them.
...
The next morning, I woke up to a sudden cold dread, today was the day of my art presentation. I got up of my bed unwillingly and got dressed, quickly putting on my crop top and ripped girlfriend jeans and began to tie up my hair. As I pulled every strand of hair to begin the braid, slowly and with a steady hand, wanting my hair to look perfect, I wondered about my artwork and what I was going to say about it. Was I going to talk about how my life changed in a single moment, and the painting was used to represent my past, where I was happy and celebrating the present? Was I going to say that I drew it because I wanted to replace my first piece, that one that exposed my true emotions and sense of meaning in the world? The one that portrayed the girl standing in the empty galaxy, waiting, wishing for someone?
Still confused and my mind cluttered with thoughts, I finished my braid and put on my shoes, carrying my painting gently as I raced off to my first class.
As I sat there listening to other people's speeches, my palms were sweating and my lips were trembling, my body shivering from both the cold and my nerves, my ever-lasting nerves. As I listened carefully to the different speeches, I realised how similar they all were, all expressing truthful, positive emotions. Mine though, it was the exterior that I put up for myself, the happy girl that cried no tears, the cheerful smile that expressed no pain. The painting I created was a mask I build for myself, portraying no vulnerability or sadness, the feelings that surrounded my reality.
Breaking my train of thought, I heard a flood of claps as the person finished presenting. I clapped along, not wanting to stand out too much...ugh, I spoke too soon.
"Riley, how about you go next?" my professor said, pointing at me.
And right at that moment, my face turned pale white and the voices that constantly echoed in my mind went silent.
...
I hope you guys liked it :)
Love Scarlett Jade
YOU ARE READING
Voices
Romance"I thought I was over it, that the past was behind me. Yet, voices still constantly close into my thoughts, having more control of me as each day passes, surrounding me, criticising my every move. The feeling of getting intimate with someone scared...
