Voices

C4. forest green

forest green

I picked out my outfit for the day and loosely curled my hair. I put on my favourite oversized army green hoodie, ripped skinny jeans, ankle length boots and headed out the door. Before closing the door, I looked back in the mirror and stared at long brown hair that is now up to her stomach. "I really need to cut it", I tried convincing myself and stepped out of the room.

As I walked out ready for my next class, the sudden realisation hit me. Looking from the 2nd floor at the landscape, the university was huge, bigger than what I imagined, and from my perspective, I was a shell in the Pacific Ocean, a nobody following the waves of the current. Knowing that that was my life, both my present and my future, I stumbled to my classroom, heavy on my feet.

As I sat on my seat waiting for class to start, a familiar face came into view, even though I didn't really know where I knew her from. As soon as she saw me, she skipped towards me, walking faster than I anticipated. Quickly, I hid under the protection of my textbook, wanting her to not recognise me, to not draw attention. As I waited, one second, two seconds, the footsteps were getting louder each time, slowly coming closer towards me.

"Hello there, I'm Dylan"

Her eyes were emerald green, her eyeliner a slick wing, reminding me a Siamese cat: studious and sophisticated. Her dress a dark blue, complimenting her fair skin as the breeze slightly lifts up her dress, giving it volume, making her look magical, almost.

"I am one of Jaden's friends, one of the girls that you met this morning," she repeated herself once again.

"Oh hi sorry, I am Riley," quickly standing up to greet her.

"I didn't know we were going to be classmates" she said as she stopped to sit beside me.

"Well this is going to be interesting," I quietly told myself, not wanting her to hear it.

After class, I hurried to pack up my belongings, not wanting to have a conversation with anyone, not needing others to hear what I have to say, because no one actually cared. As I walked out of class, tired from the effort I had to master having a proper conversation with someone, I was shoved forward, nearly tripping and falling to the ground from the impact.

"Hey Riley, you want to come and eat lunch with us? Jaden and a few others will be there too." Dylan basically shouted into my ear.

"No, I'm okay. I am just going to go to library." I said walking off, not wanting to be convinced otherwise. I wanted to be left alone, where it took no extra energy for me to eat, no extra effort for me to have to interact with others, not constantly thinking about whether people were going to second guess and question what I say.

As I strolled to the library, finally being able to breathe now that no one was around, I started to hear a faint noise, a voice that caught my ears and caused every hair on my body to prick up. As I walked closer, following the voice, I stood there, shocked at what I was about to lay my eyes on. Near a fountain, the sight of a brown-haired guy caught my eye, I was drawn to him, and it was like nothing else in the world mattered at that moment. His voice as calm as the sky right before a sunset as he sings a song that captured the happiness my heart was desperately holding on to, the sadness guiding the music as it slowly changed the happiness into grief, like the girl in in the darkness of the galaxy, wishing, waiting for a glimpse of hope.

And as if he knew what I was feeling, the guy looked up directly at me, his eyes like the forest, a field of green with speckles of yellow and blue staring back at me, a look of curiosity, maybe even empathy.

Not wanting to let him see inside of me, the girl swallowed in a deep hole struggling to break free, I turned and walked away, instantly feeling exposed and a hint of regret.