My Sad-Depressing-Poetry

Struggling

Something I lack,

is self-control.

I lack the ability to stop myself

even when I know the risks.

Nothing rewards me

and ever punishment is well deserved.

I could be beaten and bloody and

I would smile and say thank you.

I could be handed $100, 000, 00

and I would give it back because I don't deserve it.

I am 17 years old.

I haven't made a name for myself

I haven't smiled in 3 months

I haven't spoken to anyone, not even my parents.

I forget to eat.

I've lost 20 pounds in just a couple of weeks.

Honestly, It's okay,

I wasn't skinny, to begin with, but

The worst part of it is is that

I don't feel the need to be healthy

I don't feel the need to be happy.

I roleplay, even if I'm not interested.

I write crappy depressing poetry no one reads.

I smile when I see someone I know, But they don't know me

I have forfeited the right to have someone to love me

I have forfeited the right to my happiness.

I used to believe in Soulmates,

and love,

and happiness.

and now?

I believe in the emptiness that has consumed me.