Scared Of Dreams

Chapter 1: The beginning of my story

~ Trigger warning: mention of self-harm ~

Amaryllis P.OV.

Hi my name is Amaryllis. I grew up in a small town in the north of the UK. My best friend growing up was Phil, he was my neighbor. People thought that was weird, him being five years older than me. When I was 13 he moved to university. He left me alone. You may think I have a lot of friends, but I don’t. When he left I was on my own. I was all alone in my hell. People knew he was gone, they knew I didn’t have anyone to protect me. I was an easy victim. The bullying became worse day by day. Name-calling became beating and tears became bruises. Everyday my body was decorated with new bruises. One night when I was fifteen the loneliness became to much. One cut than another and another and another AND ANOTHER… Cut, cut, cut everyday… Deeper and deeper. I didn’t take long for everyone to find out. Things got worse. I actually started listening to what they said. I know I shouldn’t have, but I did. FAT, WHORE, EMO,… everyday was a living hell. When I was seventeen I found out Phil started making youtube videos. I watched al of his videos again and again and again. When I watched his videos I felt less lonely. It felt like he was with me. When I was twenty I started making my own videos hoping to reach Phil that way, I missed my friend so much. At the same time I found out he moved to London. That was almost two years ago. Two day ago I was staring at my twitter notifications… Phil followed me, I couldn’t believe it, he found me. We talked and talked. Now I’m standing at his front door, I’m going to see him again. Finally! But I’m scared… come on Amaryllis, you can do it. I raise my hand to knock… I can’t. why am I hesitating? I waited for this moment for years and now I’m scared to knock. He is my friend I tell myself raising my hand again…

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A/N Hey this is the first chapter from my fanfic, the next chaperes will be longer (I hope) Follow me for updates :))