Dear Michael: HIStory

Chapter 2

Authors Note: Okay, so I've had to unpublish this chapter so many times because WATTPAD didn't want to accept my original format. But I've made it work and in my overediting because of this app we love and hate WATTPAD, I've had to try my best to make it easier on the eyes... 

Anyways... to clear up any confusion, the beginning of this chapter is Shayla and Michael explaining their sides of their story. Shayla is in bold-italics. Michael is in regular font. And when they speak together, it is in bold-underline. This way it will give you more insight into both of their minds. Where they both went wrong and what they both don't seem to understand from each other. Enjoy. I really enjoyed writing this chapter this way and trying something new and unique. :)

VII

I was failing miserably,
but on the outside, I was winning.
The world hadn't the slightest idea
of what my wife and I have gone through,
but to them, I'm the King of Pop.
I'm married to a New York Times Bestselling author.
I created Neverland for us.
I've given and done everything for the betterment of us as a couple.
I've done all of this for her. Doesn't she see that?
How many times do I have to be the one to say sorry?

He didn't do this for me.

He's done it all for himself.

All of this is a cover to mask how he's felt about everything.

I never wanted any of this.

I just wanted my husband.

I have a picture.
A projection
of what I wanted our relationship to look like to the public.

I feel trapped in a life I didn't even build at this point.

That I didn't even want, but I accepted it because he was my husband.

And while it looked perfect on the outside,
we were crumbling miserably on the inside.

It's been so much that wasn't me that I was living.

So much inauthenticity.

I've been with this man my whole life and it seems like I don't even know who he is anymore.

At this point, I'm convinced there's a stranger in my house.

Because he wouldn't have treated me like this ten years ago.

All of this I've done for her and it doesn't even suffice.

I feel like I'm living in a golden cage.

Pristine on the outside, but so alone on the inside.

Alone and misunderstood.

How can a woman have everything she ever wanted, but feel so alone?

Where have I failed in this marriage?