making my story reality

chapter 1

Chapter one

I get out of my very warm and comfortable bed to do my usual early morning routine only to look In the mirror across the room and regret how much my negative thoughts and self hate really affects my mood. I can tell already that today was going to be one of those days where I'm going to be extremely self destructive,
negative and over all drawn into myself completely blanked out to everyone around me.

I sigh as I grab some clothes out for the day I grabbed my favorite skull shirt that had the repper and three hell hounds on it along with my favorite black hoodie that had a skull on it that had chrystal horns, my favorite black ripped jeans that have some paint stains on them and my worn out paint splattered combat boots that I got from my dad a few years ago. Once I have my clothes set out I went to my personal bathroom to get a shower started so that I could hopefully wash alway the self destructive hateful thoughts that where circulating my brain so early in the morning. Letting out a deep breath as I strip myself from my very comfortable p.j's and the uncomfortable a.c.e bandage that was tightly wrapped around my chest that I mistakenly forgot to take off the night before.

Sighing relief as the pain from the tight bandage slowly dissipates. Ignoring the slight bruise surrounding my chest that reflects back at me from the mirror above the sink near the door as I hop into the steaming hot shower letting the burning water flow over me in a temporarily comforting warmth for alittle while before finishing my shower as the water grows cold warning me I've over stayed my welcome in the warmth and that it was now time to leave what little comfort I had found. Regrettably I get out of the once warm shower to get dressed and ready for the day ahead .once out of the shower I towel off making sure to be gentle when drying my slightly bruised chest so that I dont cause more pain then what was initially caused from the bandage.

Picking up my dirty clothes I discard them once more into the dirty old hamper that sits next to the sink whith my towel wrapped securely around me I open the cupboard under the sink and grab a new clean bandage to wrap around my chest.I know it's not safe or smart to bind my chest this way but it's the only way I can for a while after binging my chest once again I begin to get dressed .