Addict

Love , it will get you no where

A week had passed and Lex has become no less infuriating. She just seemed to have a way of getting under my skin , and any original attraction or even respect I'd had for her had disappeared. However it wasn't just that , something was off about her. I could sense it , and I KNOW it's not paranoia. I'd catch her glancing at me when she thought I wasn't looking , and the look wasn't smug , or dirty , it was like she was trying to read me. To figure me out. And I didn't like it.

However as much as I'd like to smash her head against a giant cheese grater , the nearest one didn't exist , and I had more important things on my to do list. I was beginning to cipher through the last of my parents belongings. Decidedly there had to be something I'd missed , or a nudge in the right direction from the last handful of stuff. Tonight was the night I found out.

I practically ran out of work later that evening , and as much as it would be more interesting to say I left people staring , I was on the set of a movie , so therefore I was just another face in the crowd running to meet some forgotten appointment. In spite of that I could feel one singular pair of eyes on me , but assuming it was simply some gawping passerby believing I was a some star I carried on.

I prepared to wipe the look of determination off my face before I entered the apartment as to not alert storm , but as soon as I stepped through the door she simply glided last me tapping her watch and making some strange mouth movements to inform me she's out for the night. A wave of relief washed over me. As much as I could keep my secrets, I can't pretend it wasn't exhausting.

Eventually after sitting on my bed and heaving a huge sigh of relief , I decided it was finally time. Quickly dodging through the clothes in my wardrobe and fumbling with my passcode , I emerged into my sanctuary. It had been difficult to find a place that only I knew about in this tiny apartment , however with a few adjustments I had managed to add an extra layer to my wardrobe , that simply looked like more space from the outside. It was just enough room for me to sit down and work. As I slumped against the wall , I shuffled towards the last pile.

There were multiple postcards and letter from aunts and uncles I'd never heard of , but that was nothing unusual. I had barley ever seen my family as a child , my parents had told me that they lived far away and so there would be no chance of seeing them. I had always just accepted that as fact and never particularly questioned it.

As time went on I worked my way through. There were now only three letters left and I was almost crying out of frustration. I turned to put one of the last letters behind me however as I was about to move on , my thumb caught on something. It was sticky , like double sided tape. Gradually I peeled it open.

It seemed like nothing at first , just a blank piece of paper , but as I looked closer I saw the faintest outline. I slowly traced the weird symbol with my index finger, a weird wave of de ja vu washing over me. It was a crescent moon looping round around a feather , which was slowly dripping ink.

Suddenly a wave of adrenaline washed over me. I pretty much dived into the pile of letters. My hands shook as a ripped one of them open. And surely enough , there in the top right corner , was the symbol.

****
I spent hours sifting through hundreds of letters and at least 70% had that very same symbol on them. Decidedly this had to mean something .. but why did I recognise it so well? Was is some long forgotten childhood memory? Maybe I was MEANT to be a part of , well , whatever this was ...?

Suddenly I heard a loud crash breaking me out of my trance. It was then followed by a distinct combination of variations on the word "shit". Great. Storm , but that must mean it was... okay now it was my turn to panic. I had been here virtually all night. I had to get out before storm noticed I wasn't in the actual apartment or I was late to work.

I stumbled out of my sanctuary as if I was doing a walk of shame from some one night stand. My hair was a mess , my makeup was practically none existent and ...

"Well SOMEONE had some fun last night"

Ahhhh great. Had she ever heard of knocking? I decided to just humour her fantasies and agree. Easier for me that way.

"Haha you caught me. He left early though"

"Oooh it was a guy he must have been lucky"

I simply grumbled out a quick mhm and made an excuse about being late for work. She pulled a face at me however let me pass with no further questioning.

As much as I was panicking about work , my mind wouldn't stop raving about what I had uncovered last night. It may not be much but it was definitely more than a coincidence. More than some cute little stamp. It meant something and I could feel it.

As I arrived at work I forced myself to snap out of it. I was having this thought as I bumped into ... her. If I had to write I list of the last things I could possibly want right now , I think this would be ranking top spot.

"Watch where you're going feather. One day you might get hurt"

Why is she such a condescending piece of shit. I opened my mouth to snap back however I decided against it. I wouldn't waste my breath on... wait. She called me feather. No. I had to be overthinking again. She was constantly calling me stupid belittling pet names. This truly was a coincidence and I should just accept that.

Sometimes things can just be coincidence. Right?