Only You | Kim Seokjin Ff

1

Sitting on my dressing table, facing some small pieces of paper at the surface of the table. I look at my reflection in my mirror. Trying to convice myself to do something that I tried since long time ago.

I'm Jung Haesoo, or Elizabeth Venéllica Jung. Well, I prefer my English name. Just an ordinary girl that wanna be a surgeon, well, soon to be surgeon I guess. Why do I sit here, in front of some tickets? I'll tell you after this.

I look at my reflection again, studying every detail of my face. Dark orbs, pale skin with a tint of pink in each cheeks, framed by my brown wavy locks. Everything is just.. dull, so-so. Nothing special. Make me feel so low, especially when I think of him.

Then I look at his photo, the one that rested just right in front my mirror, the only one that I bring all the way to Paris to accompanying me achieve my dream. It was an old photo, a fan taken photo of him, not long after he and his bandmates debuted. The photo that make me know that he is the one for me.

The first exposure of his tattoo. A single silhouette of butterfly that lay on the left side of the base of his neck. A difficult position to hide, I don't know why they didn't conceal it with makeup tho. But deep inside, I really thankful because since then I know, it's him. My soulmate.

Well, I'm not a fan of his actually. But my bestfriend does. And she's the one that actually realize that my tattoo is matches his. That he's my half one. Since then she always give me update of their outgrowth, besides the fact that she's fangirling over his group hahha. Their comeback, their song, their achievements. But I usually just looking for him. Only him. Because I'm his.

I traces my finger along the identical image that printed in my skin, in exactly same spot. Feeling the shooting tingling sensation running down my spine. I clutched my the hem of my shirt beside it, feeling so anxious yet desperate. Desperate to meet him, to see his reaction, to feel him. But also so nervous, anxious. What if he don't like me? What will happen if we meet? Moreover, what kind of path we will face after our encounter?

I look at his photo again, touching the place of his tattoo. Then I look at the concert ticket in front of me. Behind the ticket I can see a pile of another tickets. The tickets that I've bought for nothing since I was too coward to see him. Such a waste of money, hahha. I barely have money to eat yet I spent my money to buy concert tickets and airplane tickets like they cost a leaf.

It's been 6 years since I found out that he is my soulmate. 6 years of letting him wondering about his soulmate(?). Well, if he really did wonder, he's super busy anyway. Me, on the other way, can't even encouraging myself to show myself.

I look at the tickets in front of me again. But my mind flying to exactly one person. Wondering how would he feel when he meet me? How would I feel the moment I lock gaze with him? Will it be as beautiful as people said? How would it feel, when I finally bonding with him?

How old is he again? 28? God, he must be so lonely, sad. Most of the people meet their soulmate at the age of 22 to 25. I'll graduating soon, I already promised myself that I'll face him before I graduate. But again, the 'what if's running all over my mind.

Of course I'm so nervous about his reaction. I'm fucking 19. He's 9 years older than me

***

"형, 너 괜찮아? (Hyung, you okay?)"

I look at Jimin, his head sticking out from the door, peeking into my room to check on me. How sweet of him. I really thankful to have a brother like him. Well, I know none of us blood related but after spending 8 years together through all the up and down, all seven of us have a very strong connection, which is why we considered each other as brother.

"I'm fine, Jimin. I'm just a bit tired" I said smiling to the younger.

"Okay. I'll be on my room playing games" he said while slowly closing the door. I know what he means with that, "I'll be there if you need me." So sweet of him.

After that I left alone in my room again. I look at the ceiling, drown in my own mind.

2019. How old am I now? 28. And I haven't met my soulmate. Yoongi, Taehyung and Jungkook already did. I'm not hate them. Of course I'm not. I'm happy for them, I really am. The thing is I can't help but get jealous.

Yoongi met his at 2015, it was when we held 'I Need U' fansign. He's the first one from all of us who found his soulmate. Their tattoo is a small edelweis at the back of their right ear. Just like the flower means, the way they love each other is so simple yet genuine. Ah, by the way her name is Ahn Yoonhae, so cute right? Yoonhae, Yoongi, YoonYoon couple we called them. She just 2 years younger than Yoongi, she was just a student at Hangug University back then. Now she's working on her parents company.

Jungkook met his when we attend BBMA for the first time. She was a photographer on that event, her name is Vanessa Myoui or Myoui Chie. Yeah, she's Japanese-Canada and she's just a year above him. They had constellation of virgo on their left shoulder, their zodiac. But they encounter was so funny. He mistook Vanessa as our stylist noona as they had same haircolor at that moment. I witnessed their encounter because I accompanied him to search our stylist. Jungkook dragged her along the hallway just to found out that our stylist was fixing Hobi's outfit and the girl he dragged all this time was not our stylist. The female just let herself dragged along since she was too shocked and she didn't even understand a word we've been saying all that time. After all the moment their gaze locked they were immediately fall for each other.

Lastly our Taehyungie met his half one on MMA last year. Surprisingly his soulmate is our hoobae, a member of a rookie group named (G)i-dle. It's one of their foreign line, Song Yuqi. When they back to their seat after their performance, they greet us, their sunbae by bowed and we bowed to them too. That time tge two accidentally look at each other and they feel it, the unspeakable sensation of burning feeling on the upper side of their left chest, where their heart beating and their blue rose tattoo splaying on the surface of the skin. I clearly remember that time the two really desperate to be as close as possible that they kept stealing glance to each other.

Ah.. Why do I think of them all of sudden? Am I that pathetic? As much as I don't want to feel pathetic, I must to admit that I feel that way. I'm 28 now. Turning 29 in a few months. What if I never met her? What if I end up alone for the rest of my life?

As if it's a cue I hear Taehyungie scream his soulmate name following by the golden maknae giggles from the other side of the wall. Well, they must be facetiming their girls right now.

I feel a little pang in my heart. I really want to do that too. I want to have somebody to talk to, somebody who will say 'I miss you', 'I love you' and other romantic stuff whenever we meet or facetiming, somebody that I can miss, I can love. Somebody that will look at me as if I'm her world, and I can look at her as my whole universe. Is it really too much to ask if I wanna be with the one that destined with me?

My finger makes its way to the base of my neck. Delicately tracing the silhouette of butterfly underneath it. "너 어디냐?..(Where are you?)" I breath out, my vision blurred and I can hear the trembling in my voice. "내 사랑(my love)" with that I let a single bead of tear rolling down my temple and close my eyes, drifting off into a deep slumber.

***