bleeding hearts.

136

friday, 10:15 pm

"timothy!" despite ignoring each other for almost three days, jade couldn't help but to feel her heart thrumping in happiness when she saw timothy outside their gate.

her lover grinned widely at her as he opened his arms to welcome her for a hug. mabilis niyakap ni jade si timothy habang hinihingal sa pagtakbo mula sa bahay nito hanggang sa pwesto niya.

"jana.. i missed you.."

"i missed you too!" naiiyak ng sabi nito at ayaw nang pakawalan si timothy. he did the same and hugged her tightly, as if it would be the last time he could ever touch her.

"i'm sorry.. i'm sorry, baby," he whispered nonstop against her ear. pinapakiramdaman niya ang pagiyak ni jade sa kanyang balikat habang tumatagal lalo ang oras.

"alam mo naman na, diba?"

the only thing that jade did was to nod. kahit pa hindi sabihin ni timothy iyon, alam na niya kung anong ibig nitong parating. at kahit pa itanggi niya, hindi na magbabago ang naging desisyon nila.

"i'm sorry if we have to end up like this.." muling bulong ni timothy at hindi parin siya binibitawan. jade tightened the hug once again and cried as she buried her face on his neck. "jana.."

"timo, bakit?" two words.

two words that caused timothy to burst out in tears. two words that wrecked his heart into pieces, two words that made him think twice about their chosen decisions.

"i'm sorry," he repeated. "i'm sorry, love.. kahit kailan hindi ko ginusto to. kahit kailan hindi ko ikasasayang piliin to pero-"

"pero eto yung dapat. eto yung makakabuti," jade was the one who finished his sentence. at labag man sa kalooban, timothy slowly nodded.

"you need to accept your mom's offer," timothy softly held jade's shoulders to face him, at lalo lamang nadurog ang puso nito ng makitang pareho silang umiiyak. "jana, yun yung makakabuti sayo. wala akong pake kung maiwan mo ako o ano, basta dapat gumaling ka. yun yung gusto ko, yun lang yung dapat na mangyari.."

"you don't know how hard it is for me to breathe tuwing nao-ospital ka. lalo na nung nalaman kong tinatago mo samin na hindi lang basta arrhythmia sakit mo. na iba na yung pagbilis ng tibok ng puso mo. ang dami dami kong gustong gawin kasama ka nung nasa subic tayo na nakalimutan ko na yung stiwasyon mo. napakabobo ko-"

"timo, kahit kailan hindi mo naging kasalanan to," she held his face to carress it softly, habang pinipilit na ngumiti kahit pa patuloy na umaagos ang kanyang mga luha.

"jana, please, accept your parents' offer. yun yung dapat mong gawin. mas mapapanatag ako pag nagawa mo yun-"

"the treatment is not a sure win," jade reasoned out. "kahit pa subukan, 50-50 yung chance na gagaling ako-"

"and we'll not take that chance slip away. kahit pa 30% yan, basta magawa nila lahat para gumaling ka. jana, gagawin ko lahat para gumaling ka.. this is your dream, right? to heal.."

silence hugged the whole surroundings. they continued crying while trying to hide their sobs, staring at each other's eyes, mumbling their i love yous.

"and you.. kailangan mong tumuloy ng france.." jade finally said which caused timothy to look away. "kahit pa hindi sabihin ng dad mo yun, timo, alam kong dapat kang pumunta don. i know how much you want to make your lola proud. and this would be your first step to reach that goal.."

"jana, hindi ko pa alam.."

"how long are you going to study there?"

"four years, sabi ni dad.." tanging tango ang naisagot ni jade matapos marinig ang sinabi ni timothy. 4 years.. we won't see each other for that long, o baka mas matagal pa doon.

"i love you," timothy held jade's face. "i love you jana.."

"i love you too," jade once again started to tear up. "thank you for bringing happiness to my life.."

"i'm sorry if we have to end up like this," he repeated his line, then smiled as a tear escaped from his left eye. "kahit gusto kong wag mangyari to, kailangan mong magpagaling.."

"i know," jade nodded. "i'm sorry too.. but i'm sure that despite this, your lola would be happy to know that you're going to follow her wishes."

"next week na kayo aalis," muling sambit ni timothy bago hinagkan ang kanyang noo para halikan. "can i ask you a favor?"

"anything, timo," she said in between her sobs.

"the week before you leave, can i have that? with you? before we leave everything behind?"

when jade heard her request, the first thing she did was to hug him tight. cry loudly and whisper her i love yous to him.

"i will, timo. we have a week. you can have me.."

slowly, timothy guided her face to meet his, and their lips finally collided. without saying much, she responded and kissed him back with all her love, because deep inside, she knows..

it will be her last goodbye for him.