Golden // The day I met you

Chapter 11- Make me feel something

Since I was a little kid , my mother and my father always told me that I was special . They told me that when I grow up I'm going to do big things with my life . Since I know myself I always loved nature , I always loved being around people and I always adored making people laugh , being in the spotlight . I wished ever since back then to travel around the world , to see Paris , and London , India , China , Germany , Berlin , all the world . 

I remember the happiest day in my life as if it was a thousand years ago . But whenever I'm sad or depressed or just feeling hurt , lying in my bed late at night having panic attacks or anxiety attacks , having my legs glued to my chest and my heart breaking , I always think of that day . 

The sun was shinning through the pink curtains of my bedroom , slowly caressing my skin with it's warmth . I always loved the sun , but somehow , as the years went by , I ended up hating the thing I enjoyed the most . I remember being half asleep , and hearing the door getting open . Little steps where coming towards my bed and I could also hear laughs . Even half asleep I knew what was happening . It was my 8th birthday and my family was coming to wish me ,,Happy birthday'' . I always loved birthdays and not only my birthdays . 

I felt my mom's soft lips on my cheeck and her big , feminine hands at the top of my head . 

,, Happy birthday little bowl of sunshine . How does it feel being 8 ?"

I let out a small smile and I rubbed my eyes slowly . 

,, Pretty good , mommy ''

,, Do you feel older ?" My mom asked me , siting next to me .

,, Oh yeah , I think I am going to need grandma's wheelchair soon '' 

Sarcasm . Even back then. 

,, Very funny missy '' she says scrunching her nose . 

Then I look over at my brother and father as I slowly hear the Happy birthday song coming out of their half asleep mouths . 

After that , we spent the whole day together , at the local aquarium , at my favourite mall eating ice cream  at MCDONALD'S and watching a false fall which back then used to amaze me every time I saw it . We spent the rest of the day in the park , having a picnic , and playing around . I could see my mom's and my dad's smiles , the little kisses from time to time , and the love that was burning so so bright in their eyes . They loved life , they loved each other , and they loved us . They were young . 

I remember I took my brother by the hand as we were playing football .

,, What '' he asks me being fully in the game .

,, Come '' I reply him 

He came with me as he always liked to see me happy and take care of me . Sometimes I think Jackson was the best thing that ever happened to me . He was with me all the time . He felt my happines , my joy , my pain , my sadness as if we were twins , or even the same person . I remember the day I found out I had cancer , I was in my bed , crying silently with my hand at my mouth as I didn't want to wake anyone up . I felt my heart breaking into little pieces and the whole world crushing over me . Even though I was young I knew what was happening and I worried way too much as I always did . 

He opened the door slowly and he stopped for a quick second . He sat then next to me , in my bed and hugged me so so tight telling me :

,, Lor , I love you . You are my sister now and you'll always be . Even though I say to you that you are annoying you really aren't and ..." he said and I could feel tears falling from his eyes on my cheek . He tried to make me feel better but he was just a 10 year old and everything was so hard on him too . 

He hugged me even tighter and continued :

,, And you're gonna be fine , trust me , I promise .'' 

On that beautiful day I took him by the hand and we sat on the grass . Just sat there in silence.

,, What are we waiting for ? '' he curiously asked me . 

,, Rain '' I simply said . 

,, Are you crazy ? Look at the sun , is shinning so bright ''

,, Enjoy it then '' 

And we sat there for another minute and I could feel all my molecules , my whole body being embraced by this lovely warmth as feelings if euphoria and excitement were running through my body , giving me chills . 

,, I'm going '' he said getting up . 

I took a long breath and I told him :

,, Wait ''

And right then , little drops of rain started pouring down on our hands . I felt the chills that the touch of these cold cold tears if the sky as I used to say , was being given to my little body from back then . 

,, How did you... '' my brother said looking at me . 

I smiled at him with a smirk feeling like the queen of the world :

,, I just know '' I said as I got up and started running towards our parents .

I always loved rain , as I always love the sun , and having them both on my birthday felt like a blessing.

That was the last day I was feeling truly happy . That was until the night I went to that party with Harry . Next to him I could feel again that euphoric feeling , all the chills and all the happiness I missed so much . He made me feel something . I was empty and he was the thing is missed . He filled my heart . Way before I even knew it , and now the thought of loosing him , makes me feel broken . Makes me feel so sad I could go around and steal all the happiness in the world and it still wouldn't make me feel happy . He was my Romeo now , and I was Juliet .

Hiii loveeees <3333 I posteddd again ahahah , finally . I just had a big writer's blockage and I was feeling soo sad that I couldn't move on I thought about abandoning the book . But I couldn't just leave my babies , nooo noo . How do you feel about this chapter and about everything that's going on ? Please be free to let me know your opinion even if it s a negative but constructive one. Please vote and comment ? It really means a lot <333 love you lots <333