AKA My Boyfriend

Chapter 33

I found me and Harrison drinking alcohol in his apartment tonight, the small balcony over looking the city under our feet. We were waiting on Will and Jacob to get home. "I am so sorry..." I say, looking at my beer bottle.

Harrison shrugs. "For what?" He laughs softly. "For never noticing that you loved me." I say, and he smiles. "I still do. Just... not the same way. I guess after you never noticed, I moved on." He says, taking a swig from his bottle. I can't help but watch his lips.

He notices. "So you like me now, huh?" I blush. "You're nice to me..." I say softly. He smiles. "Of course. I can't imagine being mean to you... even if every time I see you, I break my own heart." He says. I blush and look away. "You like me that much." I wonder aloud.

"But you still have a husband anyway." He says, a small laugh making it past his lips. I wish Jake was here. I miss him.

Harrison shrugs and takes another sip. "I used to dream about marrying you. I don't know why. I always thought about... stuff like that." He says, too drunk to realize he is spilling his secrets.

"I loved when you would cry in my arms. I used to feel good that you would look to me for comfort. I liked protecting you." He says, smiling at me. I smile back. "Every time you would do anything, I fell in love even more." He says.

I feel bad for him, being in love with me, and me never noticing. He never complained about how he felt, he even made sure I would be happy with someone.

"But you and Jake." He says the name like it's nasty. "Jake is awesome. He's got big muscles and nice hair and he's got really pretty eyes... He made you happy. I know you guys could work it out." He says. He grabs my hand, my ring glimmering. "Otherwise, you wouldn't wear this."

I feel my heart beating against my ribs. "I do love him..."

He smiles. "Which is why you need to make up. I wanna see you be happy." He says, leaning in to kiss me. I let him peck my lips. "But you may be right. I would give away anything for one night. Even if it's only one." He says.

He smashes his liquor flavoured lips to mine and I kiss back, just as furiously. "W-wait..." I moan. He pulls back. "Are you sure you wanna do that to yourself?" He laughs. "Yes... God yes..." He says. We are interrupted when we hear the front door open.

"Shit..." He groans, he gropes me anyway. "They could see us-"

He stands up and then pulls me up. "Not if we hide behind here." He laughs, pressing me to the wall. I feel my stomach flip as my mind wonders to Jake. This is what he deserves, but will it hurt Harrison?

I moan as he lifts my legs and makes them wrap around him. Am I really doing this? I was trying to re-virginize! I hope I fall off the balcony. He kisses my neck and I hold onto his shoulders as he grinds his hips against me.

This is bad. So bad.

But the feeling of his hands gripping my sore legs and the way he grinds me to the wall, makes me feel good.

I wish this was Jake...

But I want Harrison. He's nice to me, and he loves me, so why don't I just feel good about it? Is it the wedding ring still on my finger? "Haz..."

He pulls back just to tell me everything I ever wanted to hear.

"You are so beautiful..."

But it doesn't make my heart flutter the way it does with Jake.