Lunar Eclipse

Guilty

Flash back to bad memories

Me and Stella is walking towards *SARAHS*. While walking we keep talking about the memories of 2 years back. It still haunts me. I still have bad dreams due to that incident. Stella still like Sheldon a lot. Its kind of weird to think how disgraceful those years were still filled with beautiful memories. Thinking about that due to Sam I still hate boys. For me boys always plays with your feelings and spread disgusting rumors about u.

And also Sheldon is more or less related. I used to think he was a good friend. I never realized how stupid I was. I am not saying Sheldon is a bad guy. Sheldon is definitely a nice human, probably a very good friend but I lost my precious friend Sheldon because of my stupidity.

*Again back to 2 years back*

Soon after Sam broke my precious heart. I used to cry all day and stay inside my home. At night I used to call Sheldon and talk with him whole night. He was there for me at those times. He was kind of shocked cuz he never thought Sam could say something like those.

There was also a guy Zayan. He was Sheldons another close friend and for talking with him about his relationship for few days ; he started to become one of close friend. Sheldon and Zayan was always there for me when I needed them most. And they were really nice person.

Soon another guy joined our school. His name was Simon. He was amazing. He was tall and handsome. I still used to remember those days when Simon used to play football in front of our house. I remember one afternoon I was crying and Simon called and said get out of your house, Lets go for a walk . You will feel better. I was very tired and I looked like shit but still I Went outside with him. Though I looked like shit he said I look beautiful to make me feel better.

I still miss those friends of mine. Because of my own fault I lost friends like Sheldon, Zayan and Simon.

It was about an evening when Fabiola came to my home for group studies. Suddenly Naomi called Fabiola. Fabiola, Naomi, Anna and some other beautiful girls .They are just some group of friends and they were and still quite popular. They were beautiful. Sometimes Anna behaves like a bad bitch but it has nothing to do with me until. Yes until, *sigh* I will talk about that later. So where was I? Yes Naomi called Fabiola. They were talking about a guy in our class giving him a nickname *Black Panther*. And yes my six sense works really well. I asked Fabiola Are u guys talking about Sheldon? Fabiola was quite startled about my guess but she denied. And she denied doesnt really mean I believed her. Yes I never believed her. I was quite sure Naomi liked Sheldon. To be very honest I used to think Naomi was also a bad bitch. That doesnt count though. Once umaiza said that *Naomi had sex with many guys and she is a slut* As usually I cared for Sheldon so I told him stay away from Naomi; she isnt a good girl. Probably judging Naomi for the rumors was my biggest mistake. I still regret it. I still feel guilty for judging Naomi like that. I still feel sorry. Though I apologized for thousand times and she said its okay and now I really like her and admire her she really have amazing makeup skill but I still cant forgive myself for not understanding her.

And about Sheldon zayan and Simon and how our friendship ruined has definitely has to do something with my horrible guilt.

But still it bothered me, the ambient festive music, Christmas in August, was not enough to erase the stain of guilt. No one can really feel it as they are not burdened with guilt, nothing shook them from their bubbles. The guilt sat not on my chest but inside my brain. What I had done I could not un-do... Only in my silent prayers could I speak my heart to God and beg for His mercy. I didn't feel like I deserved the love of human but I clung to it and hung the shreds of my sanity on it. I prayed that one day I would feel removed from my sin, washed clean of it, but the guilt was a stain on my, an ugly scar. *The scar of my friendship*

It was not only about losing my friends; I still feel guilty for talking with Sam , I still feel guilty for doing that thing to Naomi , I still feel guilty for ruining my own friendship with my most precious friends.

*Back to present*

Stella can see the tears in my eyes. For comforting me she is just using her regular phrases "its okay ; I know u did that for me" Yes I actually did everything for her happiness but I am still guilty. Besides about breaking friendship with them again those memories start peeping in my mind and I and Stella keep talking about it the whole way.

*Back to memories*

I wronged Naomi and yes it was just the beginning of that horrible year. And then started....