Broken Sleepin Beauty

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I swear Wattpad Trippin. I can't connect to my server. But anywhore, here's another update. :)

*(That Night: 12:35am)*

I went home from Jamarcus house that night when he fell asleep. My mother was calling and texting threatening to have Jamarcus killed if I don't come home. I had to sneak out, I couldn't live without MY chocolate. My mother has gotten niggas killed before. Head hunters will come looking for your ass, and it's nothing for Jamarcus cause he's directly across the street. Sadly when I got home I got the worse beating yet. It wasn't by Chris, Jaden nor my mother. But her niggas and her whole crew; Gorilla, Shake,Ice, Low Dough, Dolla and Hoody. I knew them all by heart cause I seen them look for niggas in a matter of hours for my mama. Bring them back, beat them up, shoot them. Sometimes stab them.

I felt like I was the actual definition of the word pain. Two of my back teeth came out, I had three broken ribs, a fractured leg and arm and a head concussion. Not to mention all the blood I had running out my mouth and coughing up. Everything was ached and bruised. I looked around the hospital room feeling like I was dying for sure this time.

I'll be okay in heaven. As long as I get to watch over my baby then all is always well. Jamarcus is safe. That's all that matters. Because I don't matter, Craig matters, he is everything. I know God exists cause when I look in his eyes that's all I see is the Creator. And I'm here to serve him and I'd die for him. I realized I loved Jamarcus back because for some strange reason he wanted me to. I just wish I could think of my dark devil skin as beautiful as him. But that was a task I feel was too heavy to carry. Still...I'm not good enough for him. The more I cried the more my body hurt.

God please take me away from here. I can't bare live with knowing Jamarcus is with someone who can't follow simple directions. I'm such a fuck up. I'm trying not to fight this, trying to just drift off but whenever I do....my life force keeps flowing. Fuck, why me?

Something tells me Jamarcus will try to find me and love me again.

My persistent Jamarcus. My constant Jamarcus.

I don't want him to find me. I don't know how but I'll protect him at all costs.

Even if I had to kill myself to do it.

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Jamarcus Craig Crippen POV

When I woke up without him, it scared me shitless. I even told Prince and Roc who quickly put on their shoes to help me look for him. I called him a million times but he didn't answer. Finally a nurse answered his phone at a hospital down town said he was in critical condition. I told Prince and Roc and we piled up in my car and drove there.

When I saw Ray laying on that bed with all those tubes, bandages, bruises and casts, it had me daunted. I almost fell but Prince and Roc held me in place.

"Fuck, not my baby!!!" I screamed as Prince pulled me in closely.

"Shhh, it's okay." Jacob told me but I shook my head.

"No it's not. He won't fight it. He's too depressed without me." I said crying in Jacob's shoulder sobbing.

"C-Craig, look at me!" Prince demanded holding my neck weeping. "Roc and I WE CAN CRY! But you won't! You're a strong boyfriend, you have to be strong for RAY! Now get it together." Prince punched my chest and I nodded slowly wiping my tears away. Prince and even Roc always showed me tough love which is why we're so close. I don't need to be babied, I need toughness. Which why I think I loved Ray so much, opposites attract. And I show him my most gentle side I possibly can. Though I think it's not enough sometimes, I believe it is for the most part. Only cause I know I make my baby happy.

"Mane Ray is cool as hell. I always wanted a little brother. Ray is already like our baby brother. He gotta live." Roc says shaking his head hugging a worried Prince.

"I know I'm like the mother to you all but yall practically grown. Ray's whole demeanor and mannerisms really make me feel like a mother. And I love that cause mine ain't here." Prince says sobbing in Roc's shoulder. "Ray Ray," Prince holds Ray's bruised hand. "I know we basically just met but you gotta get thru this. M-My cousin he loves you unconditionally. Yall can work this out boo." Prince kisses his forehead. Roc kisses his cheek.

"Go on, the touch of his love might wake him up." Prince laughs weakly patting my shoulder.

"Sleeping beauty he is." Roc smirks nodding.

"Yall stupid." I sighed walking over to the hospital bed. I leaned over Ray. I huff out again nervous. Leaning down closer, I press my lips against his, I can feel a tear slip out my eye onto his cheek. I run my hand thru his hair the part with no bandages.

"His eyes are FLUTTERING OPEN!" Prince yells and I raise up to look and....his dark brown eyes stare at me. Only with sadness.

"Rayan." I say breathless still playing in his hair.

"Jamarcus." He says just above a whisper. So many emotions were in his face. "You always find me." He whimpers as I kiss his forehead again.

"Yes I do-"

"I can't have that..."

"W-what?" I question a little taken a back.

"I-I can't have you."

"I have you Ray. But you won't have me? Ray I don't-"

"J-just go- GO JAMARCUS!" He randomly starts shouting to the top of his hoarse voice.

"Fuck NO Ray! I love you till my fucking soul aches! It'll take flying pigs and gay purple PIGEONS FOR ME TO WALK AWAY FROM YOU!" I shout back getting in his face.

"I won't have you DIE Craig. If you die Every part of me dies with you!" He said tears streaming down his face. "Jamarcus you are ME. Every part of you. I won't have it."

"Ray fuck what you won't have...I won't live life without you. Ray you keep trying to get rid of me. I'm not going any damn where. I'll die for you and our love-"

"Not for me. I don't matter-"

"Don't say that. You mean everything to me Ray. Our love is more than worth it. But I'm not going." I try to kiss him but he shoves me away.

"No! You will fucking go Craig. I don't want you if you're dead...no." He shakes his head. "GO JAMARCUS!" Prince pulls me away. "Just go please!" He pleads brings his knee to his chest rocking back and forth.

"This isn't OVER Ray. You can't hide from ME! I love you Ray! You're too valuable to me. My sweet divine chocolate." Prince keeps pulling me towards the door. "I'll always be yours, and you'll always be my cocoa." I tell him before leaving with Prince and Roc.

-Luxurious Cocoa |au| prayWhere stories live. Discover now