The Heavens Below

Stick: 3

The closet door opened slowly, and Hayley poked her head in, her eyes adjusting to the darkness.

I wiped my eyes and nose, looking up at her. She winced, stepping in, half shutting the door behind her.

"Ahmirah told me what happened. Class is gonna start in a minute. She told me to get you."

I shook my head and pulled my knees closer to me. She couldn't understand. No one could know.

"What happened, Mike? She said she was teasing and you flipped out. She said you had some hickeys or something."

I shut my eyes. She knelt down and crawled to my side. I sniffled.

"It's..it's nothing. You wouldn't get it."

She blinked, her eyes sad. He shoulder bumped mine, my chest burned.

"It's bugging you. So it's bugging me. Can't you just tell me? So I can try?"

I shook my head. I couldn't tell her. I couldn't.

She tilted her head and tried to look at my neck. I pressed my chin down harder and pulled my shoulders up.

"No. It's fine. Go to class without me. I'll be okay."

Her eyes glistened. Whatever she was thinking, it wasn't what happened. I could tell her what it wasn't, but that would only make her more confused. As long as she didn't know the truth.

I wiped my nose and lifted my head a little. Pulling the collar down with one finger. She gasped. She wasn't stupid. She knew what it wasn't.

"Michael, that's not a hickey! Who did that?! Michael what happened?"

She swatted my fingers away and pulled my collar down all the way, lifting my chin. The trained eye could make out the palm, the fingers, the grip. Hickeys..yeah right.

I swallowed.

"It's fine. I'm okay."

"Did your dad do that?"

I shook my head quickly.

"What? No. He didn't."

She let go of my chin and put her hand up to my throat, covering the shape with her own hand print. It wouldn't even compare in size. Not even my fathers hand was that big.

"Michael..who..? Michael. Who did this?"

I took her hand away.

"It doesn't matter. I'm fine now. I just don't want anybody to think it's anything it's not. Just leave me alone. I'll be okay."

She frowned harder and the bell rang outside the door. She looked over her shoulder and tugged on my sleeves.

"Come on. I'll tell Ahmirah, she'll apologize."

"No she won't. She'll just interrogate me more. I don't wanna talk about it. It doesn't matter."

There was a deep voice outside in the hall.

"Hey! Get outta there! Get to class!"

Hayley whined and stood. She backed away from me. I almost wanted to laugh. Coward.

"I'll talk to you later, I'll put your bag outside. Please be okay."

She ran out of the closet as one of the sergeants jogged up to the doorway, heaving out a breath as her footsteps sped off. He looked at me as I stood and swallowed. He blinked in surprise.

I kept my head down as I stepped out into the hall. He huffed.

"Thought girls weren't your thing."

I looked away.  He scratched his beard.

"Is that the closet you use?"

I didn't answer, and pulled my collar back up, but it was too late. His voice twisted slightly.

"Whatever, keep the legs closed from now on. And no more of my boys, you hear me?"

I turned away and began to walk down the hall.

"I don't need them going soft."

'Like you' was the unspoken emphasis.

But I didn't stop, and I heard him turn and walk the opposite direction, mumbling nonsense about liars and pansies.

  I passed my class, and my bag had been put outside the door. I didn't stop to look in the window, I grabbed it and kept going.

How long do bruises last? Too long. Too long to keep this up. Not that I could ever forget. I don't forget things like this, I never have.

It's over now. It's done. Right?

Stop thinking about it. Stop wondering. It won't matter next month.

But I still wasn't here, my mind was somewhere far away, still gasping for air.