Beaming Through It All

Chapter Eleven

It was the beginning of January and I missed the trainings I used to have in winter, when it was so cold outside the gymnasium and I felt like there was no better place to go to. Of course, I kept training a little, but I still had a lot of free time which I didn't spend in the gymnasium. In a way, it wasn't so bad because the atmosphere at gymnastics had become unbearable for me. Pearl and the other girls were much nicer to me, and I could probably have become friends with them, if it wasn't for Alison and April who kept looking at me as if I was a mean girl and did everything they could to separate me from Pearl and her friends. Therefore, I used my free time to see Jeremy more, but also to concentrate on schoolwork and to get my cheerleading routine ready -  I had promised myself I would subscribe for the team. As I was taking a book from my locker before going back home one day, someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned round to see Pearl standing there, her blond hair hanging down her face in a beautiful girly way.

'Hey,' she said. I smiled, wondering what she could be doing here. 'What's up ?'

For some reason, I felt uncomfortable. I had talked to her a lot at the gym lately, but seeing her in another context – school - was sort of weird.

'Well, I kind of feel weird not to go training this afternoon. I know it's been a while since my accident, but I still haven't totally got used to it. Although, you know, I've got stuff to do anyway.'

'Yeah,' she replied. 'It's weird not to see you around so much. But you're not missing much, Alison and April have become impossible. I don't know why they're acting like that. You were not their property.'

I nodded, glad to see someone actually understood me.

'Anyway,' she went on. 'I've talked to Julia. She said you could ask her some help if you needed anything to get your cheerleading routine ready for the trials. And don't forget to subscribe one week before the trials. There's gonna be a list near the gymnasium, you just have to put your name on it.'

'Thanks,' I said. 'It's really nice of you to care.'

She smiled. 'You're welcome.'

My routine wasn't quite ready, but I had started to work on it and it was harder than I thought it would be. Jill helped me sometimes, but she was not in the mood to support me all the time, and Jeremy was there more often but didn't know so much about cheerleading, so he didn't have so much advice for me.

'You're supposed to say something ?' he asked me, astonished, the first time I had showed him what I had done. 'Are you sure ? You should totally ask Julia.'

I gave him an incredulous look. 'Of course I'm supposed to say something. Cheerleaders are there to support the team, they're not just dancing.'

'I know that. Although, you know, we don't care about what you're saying. Usually we watch cheerleaders perform because they're sexy.'

'We ?'

'Yeah, the team, you know.' Jeremy was part of a basketball team. 'Not that I'm looking at other girls,' he added.

'Other girls ? What are you talking about ?'

Jeremy opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, and then closed it.

'You don't look at other girls,' I started, 'so... there's a girl in particular you're looking at ?'

He frowned. 'I don't know why I said that,' he said very quickly. 'Anyway that's not the point. I didn't think you needed to say something during trials, everyone can say something. I thought you just had to show your moves.'

I couldn't help but think he had said 'other girls' as if we were a couple and he didn't have the right to look at others than me. Of course I was probably wrong, but my heart was beating fast.