Why Her? (13 Reasons Why)

Chapter 9

"Citations and pardons"

[Vanessa Baker's POV]

Days have passed and I didn't speak to any of the guys on the tapes again. I felt a mixture of guilt, anger and disgust. I missed talking and laughing with Zach, hanging out with Alex and his bullshit with Jessica, beating Bryce at poker and teasing Monty. But, after all, it was all based on a lie. I hated the fact that I hated my old actions and my way of being entangled in falsehoods. I spoke to Dennis and he mentioned that I no longer needed to continue the act because they were going to put the case on trial. Finally.

My parents weren't very helpful either. They were so distant while I was around, and I couldn't feel any affection. Not in months. I was with them at the table, dining quietly until my mom dropped the legal issue and the whole thing.

"What if we called those who were close to Hannah?", she asked. I just rolled my eyes.

"I don't know, Liv", Dad said, "Let the lawyers take care of that".

"I feel like we should focus on it", she articulated and I indignantly buffed, "What's wrong, Vanessa?"

"Nothing," I blurted out, "I just want to know when are you guys gonna find out that I'm still here."

"Why, darling?" Dad asked me and I buffed again.

"Why? Maybe because they haven't stopped talking about Hannah since she killed herself"

"Vanessa!", my mom exclaimed, "Behave, please".

"Is that the only thing you are going to tell me? Wow! Someone should give you guys the Oscar to the most clueless on the planet".

"Okay, Vanessa, that's enough", Dad growled.

"No! If every time I have to show up it is for doing some kind of show, I do not know why they planned to have twins", I said irritated, "If you were going to focus so much on justice for one and disaster for another, it would have been better if I wasn't born before Hannah, right?"

"Enough, Van-", my mom tried to say, but I ignored her.

"I'm gonna get to the point with these questions: Have you ask me how I am doing in Liberty? Have you ever thought about giving me a hug or a kiss while I've been here? Do I have to die to be listened to too !? Tell me! Because I have also passed it like the fucking shit in Moldova, too, but nothing compares to this city. And none of you knew it".

"Language!", Dad said.

"I've had enough! Hannah is dead! And what do you guys do for the only daughter they have left? Nothing! Let me tell you, I'm not going to be undercover in high school anymore. I lost my damn scholarship in order to help you, to be with you, but all you do is walk away like I'm not your daughter! How do you think that makes me feel?"

I started crying, but not as much as my parents. I knew that hurt, but I didn't care.

"You preferred to send me away from my sister, they never called or wrote to me. I was practically alone on the other side of the world! Hannah had depression over her and they did nothing. NOBODY DID! So go see what they will do now, because the only daughter left to them got tired of all this shit", I finally said and ran to my room.

[...]

[The next day]

[Zach Dempsey's POV]

We got a message from Courtney saying we had to meet in person urgently. I couldn't take any more of the guilt I had. I still can't beat Vanessa, who for me had been the relic I never wanted to lose. Every time we looked at Liberty or were in our respective practices, she'd ignore me. I think falling in love with her based on this lie was not going to work.