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Flashback tw ; homophobia
"You forgot to bring him from daycare again? Yoongi! How many times do I have to tell you-"
"I know, I'm sorry"
"You're useless"
Yoongi was once again sitting on the staircase, far up to not be seen by his parents that were busy eating in the kitchen. His mom was busy feeding his little brother as his father was shoving rice into his own mouth. Yoongi was prohibited from eating with his family. Or being seen eating at all. His mother said it was for his own sake, because he needed to lose some of the weight. But his father didn't even hide it. He said he find his firstborn son disgusting and didn't want to share a dinner with him.
It was because Yoongi had been forced to come out the closet when his father caught him and a boy kissing. The boy was none other than Moonbin, Yoongi's closest friend in school. Yoongi had been beaten to the point where he couldn't even look properly. He didn't go to school for a whole week and had blocked Moonbin's number the same night that he got beaten up.
He felt disgusted of himself for being attracted to boys. He had left his parents down. He was a disgrace. His mother didn't take it as bad as his father, but she started to treat him differently. No more hugs, small comforting talks or smiles. Just straight up a cold shoulder.
He had been forced to come out when he was fifteen and had been living in the shadows of his so called perfect family until he was eighteen. He endured their beatings, their looks and their dumbass tries to fix Yoongi so he could leave the house when he had earned enough money. Just enough money to leave his goddamn family and this shittown. Moonbin had helped him, despite Yoongi trying to ignore him. Moonbin somehow understood, even though his family was very accepting. He just, did.
Moonbin was everything Yoongi had. He used to visit Yoongi when the said boy had gotten an apartment in Seoul. Moonbin had helped him economically and psychologically. All in all, Yoongi would die for the boy. Never did Yoongi imagine Moonbin leaving his side. He had grown attached to the boy. But, Moonbin passed away in a car accident, one day after Yoongi had turned twenty years old. Yoongi hated himself for not making Moonbin stay one more day. For letting him drive in the storm.
Yoongi felt like a failure. He hurt the ones he loved. He was bad luck for everyone and no one truly stayed by his side.
End of flashback.
The droplets of rain dropped on Yoongi's face, colliding with his salty tears as he walked the long way home. He did feel bad for leaving Hoseok behind but what good could he do the boy? He just added to the pain. Hoseok was the one who changed how Yoongi viewed himself, but now, the wounds Yoongi had tried to recover were completely revealed and he felt bothered. He doubted himself and wondered if he truly was useless.
His phone was buzzing in his pocket for the nth time and Yoongi just couldn't bare with the vibrations anymore, so he answered.
"H-hello" He hiccupped, trying to hide the fact that he was crying, even though he was sure it was Hoseok that called. "Baby. You know I love you, right? You know that you help me so much already. You're not useless! How can you even say that? Come here please and hear me out." That was enough for Yoongi to burst into loud sobs, his whole being shaking as he crouched down, crying the pain in his heart out. "I love you too, hobi..." He heard the sobs from the other line and decided to rush back towards the studio without hanging up.
