stiles shattered

Chapter 6

Stiles's POV

I enter the kitchen and see Derek cooking. When I open my mouth to say something, he turns around and gives me a soft smile.

"How are you feeling?" he asks.

"Um, better now," I reply, not really knowing what to say. "How'd you find me?"

"Well I was going to the old Hale house when I smelled your extremely pungent smell."

I give a small chuckle and look down at the ground.

"Stiles," he starts, "tell me the truth. You've had two panic attacks in the last two days that I even know about. How bad is it?"

"It used to be worse." I try and joke but it obviously doesn't amuse the werewolf.

"Stiles."

"Okay, okay. Well I got them after my mom died but my dad took me to a therapist to help." I look at Derek for a sign to go on and he simply nods. "After the whole sacrifice ritual to find the nemeton, well I started getting them again when it really affected all of us. Everything that was happening would set me off: when I couldn't read whether it was from the letters being scrambled around or literally falling off the page, when my subconscious was trying to send me that stupid message, and all the other things that happened.

"Those eventually went down when the Nogistune started taking over and I couldn't remember where I'd been for days on end and then the nightmares started becoming my main focus. And now," I paused, not sure what I wanted to tell him. All the stuff that happened before, people knew about. Isaac, Scott, Lydia, my dad, Allison. But everything that's been happening recently, I've kept to myself.

The crippling panic attacks that forced me to hurt myself to stop, the horrifying nightmares I had to scream myself awake from, and the fact that I was still seeing the Nogistune everywhere I went and I could hear him talking to me. Up until yesterday, no one knew anything. I could normally hold off the panic attacks until I was at least a little bit away from the rest of the pack but I couldn't control it yesterday.

"What about now, Stiles," Derek says, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I look up at him again and think, why should I tell him anything. He's never cared before, why start now? "No, screw this. I don't have to tell you anything. Thanks for everything but I'm leaving now."

I turn to walk towards the door as Derek grabs my wrist and I flinch, although as soon as I do I immediately regret it. "I saw your wrist, Stiles. You can fool everyone else but not me. You're not okay, and you haven't been for a while. Now you're free to leave if you want, but your jeep is still where you parked it and Scott's coming over soon so you might as well stay."

"You told Scott?" I started getting mad. He has no right to tell anyone anything.

"Relax, all I told him was that I found you passed out in the forest from a panic attack. Anything else you want to tell him is up to you," he says, glancing at my wrist.

I shake my head, contemplating whether to stay or not when I finally decide I might as well. Don't want to pass out trying to get to my jeep which is miles away. "Damn it, Derek." I say after taking a seat on his ugly couch and start playing with my fingers.

Derek's POV

He sits down on the couch and I realize he's decided to stay. "I made chicken parmesan if you want any."

"Not hungry," he almost immediately replies.

"Stiles, you're underweight I hope you realize."

"I've always been, you're point?" I've learned I can't argue with the boy so I walk away to the kitchen to serve myself some of the food I stress cooked.

Stiles, obviously, is still very broken from everything that happened, and all I can hope is that Scott can find some way to get through to him.