The Misses Foo & Cockerill

Happiness

"Just go ahead and sit right there," Miss Foo said.

"I don't like this, Foo," Miss Cockerill said, looking warily at the black sheet that covered the machine. "You promise you'll take me to the dress store after?"

"Yes, now be quiet."

Miss Foo placed the cap over Miss Cockerill's head, crushing her hair. Miss Cockerill screamed but Miss Foo hit her with her walking stick until she was quiet.

"But I don't understand what this is for."

Miss Foo responded by turning the machine on.

Nothing happened.

Miss Cockerill chewed on her hair nervously.

"Bah!" cried Miss Foo and kicked the machine.

Why didn't it work?!

Eli spent a cold, evil night in his cell. Though exhausted, he couldn't make himself fall asleep. Too many terrible thoughts coursed through his mind. Miss Foo hadn't told him what the Chaos Cap was or what it did, which left Eli to imagine all sorts of terrible things. If he really knew what the Chaos Cap did, however, Eli would have shook the bars of his cage until they rattled free. But what he couldn't figure out was why she hadn't used it right then. What was she waiting for?

And then Eli knew why–it wasn't complete. Miss Foo hadn't finished building the Chaos Cap and therefore could not use it. The thought gave Eli hope. All he had to do was escape tomorrow! Yes, tomorrow he would get home and hug Julie and never disobey his father again.

Then Eli worried about Julie. He worried about Phil-osopher. And he worried about himself. Whatever the Chaos Cap was, however Miss Foo meant to use it and him, it was sure to be terrible. He wasn't sure that Miss Foo even cared if he survived.

Eli fell asleep with one thought one his mind: escape.

Sleep provided Eli little respite. His mind swam with armies of gnomes wielding brass instruments as weapons and squirrels in wedding dresses.

Reality, however, was far more terrifying.

Eli screamed immediately when he opened his eyes. The thin, vacant face of Miss Cockerill was staring at him through the bars of the cage.

"Oh, goody," she said. "You're up. I have such a fun day planned for us today!"

It didn't take long for Eli to remember where he was. As he trembled in the back of the cage, the day before came rushing back with terrifying clarity: Miss Cockerill, Miss Foo, scrapbooking and whipper-snappers, and then finally and worst of all, the Snarl. And suddenly, in the light of day, escape seemed impossible.

"Let me go," he pleaded. "Please."

"Let you go?" Miss Cockerill asked, confused. "But we just got married. Besides, I've got such a fun day planned. First we're going to try on dresses, then Miss Foo wants you to feed the Stranglervine (actually, that won't be much fun), but then you get to clean the phones! Isn't that exciting? I can't even remember the last time they were cleaned."

Eli didn't understand what he heard. "Dresses? Stranglervine? Phone? Oh, floor, you mean clean the floor," he said and moaned. The floor of Foo Manor was scared and pitted and he had seen some enormous dust bunnies in the corners.

Miss Cockerill paused. "The floor?" she asked. "No. Why? Is it dirty? No, no, the phone, you must clean the phone. People can get all kinds of nasty germs from unclean phones. Not nearly enough sanitation engineers today, oh my, no. Where have they all gone? But that's after dresses! Come on, come on!" said Miss Cockerill, clasping the shackle to Eli's foot and dragging him off down the hall before he had a chance to protest.