I lost it with the wind

therapy

"That wife is ruining my life! When we were a couple, she never -not once- respected my dreams nor my wishes.  She killed my baby! And now that she left, it got worse. She destroyed my job and my reputation as a trustworthy surgeon...well not directly but indirectly...I'm an alcoholic and I was a surgeon once... My name is Owen Hunt and I'm an alcohol addict" applause

"Owen, that was an improvement. We're all very proud." His therapist of the AA smiles at him. He gives him a weak smile back "thank you, yes I'm trying to move on" He goes back to his seat and sits down.

A woman near to him stares at him "one question, Owen: so you hate her?" He feels a bleakness inside and shakes his head "no not at all...I love her" Ashamed he looks down. These AA meetings help him but it feels weird to tell strangers his inner feelings and thoughts. At the first meeting he felt naked and exposed. it got better but still it's hard.

Everything was so unreal. First, he talked with Jackson and Derek. Then came Webber and tried to persuade him to join the AA. Later that day Meredith told him to phone Cristina. He refused. What should he have said? "Hey, Cristina. I lost my job because..well because of you. Because I couldn't cope with you leaving me, I started drinking..." No he couldn't phone her.

It was all like a dream, like a nightmare. Owen remembers Derek walking towards him and putting a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. But we can't ignore that. You understand?" Then he rememberes nothing but waking up in a dirty corner of a bar. It stank of beer and vomit. Weakly he stood and walked outside. It took him a few moments to recognise where he was. And it took a few hours to find his way back home. The next day he went to the AA.

He sits on the bed. He must leave Seattle. If he want to start again he has to start somewhere new. A new start, a new life, this is what he needs. The next weeks he does a lot of phoning and planning and in the end: UK.

"I'm moving to England. A new start, I'm over Cristina, over alcohol, over Seattle. I need something new. So I'm moving" Meredith smiles brightly at him. "Owen" she says "you don't have to explain. I'm happy for you, really. It's great" Derek gives him a hug. "It really is, man. We stay in touch" Owen winks at Bailey and nuzzle through Zola's hair. "Goodbye"

Yes, it is great. He has a job offer from a hospital in Gloucester. There he already found a flat. Owen feels great. It's a new start. He's not to old for children yet. He could find someone and live his dream, live the dream Cristina never wanted: being parents. He should phone her, tell her about his job in Gloucester. He could someday visit her, now that they both live in Europe.

Now he's standing at the airport. To London.... He checks the time table....and takes a step back. A flight to Zurich, to Cristina. He's tempted. He could change the flight and meet Cristina, be with her, tell her he still loves her... Keep calm, it's nothing...just a plane that will flight to Zurich and Zurich is just the town Cristina lives...just the woman I'm still in love with He turns around. No, he couldn't let his new life slip through his fingers. Slowly, he goes to his port, when he suddemly hears a young man calling to another one "oh, for God's sake!!! Hurry up. I've to buy a ticket still. And if I miss this flight to Zurich..." Owen looks after that guy and without a reason becomes jealous. This guy could meet Cristina, he could have the pleasure to see her in the town by change. Owen suddenly knows what to do. His life would never be complete without her. It doesn't matter how hard he tries he will always love her and maybe he will meet someone special in Gloucester and maybe they will have children together, it all wouldn't count, wouldn't be right and wouldn't make him happy...because that woman his maybe - mother of his maybe-children wouldn't be Cristina. She wouldn't be the one woman he loves. In a rush he runs and buys a ticket...changes his flight and changes his life.