Weightless

Chapter Four: Unpredictable

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Sometimes I don't understand the inter workings of Luke's brain. But what of it is my business? None of it, that's what. Damn, get out of my head, Luke Chandler. We had a conversation a bit later in the evening before supper, and it went a bit like this:

K: Oh my god, my father just dropped the table on himself. X'D

L: Oh. Haha.

K: You sound a bit bored.

L: Just a bit. - .-

K: Alright then...

And that was it. Really? "Just a bit?" Asshole. Donkey shit. Dick face. That really hurt. I could feel a burning hole forming in my heart. Ouch. My mother called me down for dinner, and we had salmon and broccoli. Dinner passed pretty slowly, but that's most likely because I was day dreaming the whole time. My fantasies consisted of either a different conversation between Luke and I, or what bliss I would be in right now if I had a boyfriend. Winter is approaching fairly quickly, and i'm still as single as the last pringle in the container that no one can seem to get out.

I love the winter though. It's so pretty. It also gets fairly cold around where I live, so we get lots of snow, and it makes for a good day of sitting inside reading a book. (Or laying in front of the fireplace with my dog.) That's always fun. I never have to worry about other people, unless it's Christmas. But this year is a bit lonely. I usually spend my winter with Jess, but all of HER time has been sucked up by her boyfriend. Nothing against him, he's a great guy. I'm glad she found him. But that kinda leaves me to the side, on a bench call. Bleacher bum, I guess. Doomed to be a loner forever.

I finished dinner and walked back to my room. I pulled an oversized gray cableknit sweater on, some boy-short style underwear, and my black thigh-high socks. I flopped onto my bed and rolled around, hugging Person. My computer screen lit up from a notification on Facebook. It was Luke's model shots. Someone had caught him and I chatting and snapped a few photos. Oh my gods. The fluorescent lights caught my slighly tan skin so I looked like I was glowing. It was Luke who tagged me, saying "Shouldn't she work with me? Kristen" Oh gods. He didn't. I scrolled through the comments, and people had said things like "Oh yeah!". But the one comment that caught my eye was from one of the models he worked with.

"Oh my god. She looks like such a bitch. Lukie, why do you talk to her? She's so UGLY. Her nose is huge, and so are her thighs. What does she weigh, like 300 pounds? She could never model with us. Just you, Anna, and I."

That comment stung like no other. I don't think I had ever felt that hurt before. Yeah, my self-confidence has never been at 100%, but I was pretty okay with myself. Not anymore. I stared at my thighs for about thirty minutes, just hating them. "Maybe that model was right. I am really fat. I need to change that." I thought. My eyes started to fog up and before I knew it I was sobbing.

I heard a knock at my window. I looked over and, in the branch outside of my window, Luke purched like a bird. I hurried to wipe my eyes and ran over to the window, half yelling, half whispering.

"What the hell are you doing? Why are you outside of my window? Luke!"

He looked at me, and hopped into my room. We both just stood at the window for a little while, staring at eachother. He eventually noticed the makeup smudged on my eyes, and went to ask what had happened. "K, what's wro-"

"No. Don't. I'm okay. Don't look at me. Please just go."

I turned around and sat on my bed again, opening my laptop back up and looking at the pictures on Facebook that had been posted from earlier. He plopped down next to me and watched over my shoulder. He saw the other model's comment, and immediatly shut my computer.