Androphobia(paused)

004

Eloise-this thing called living(TTCL)

It's been a couple hours later sense Billie dropped me off. I told her to drop me off at my friends house. I have no friends. Ive been walking around sense then trying my best to avoid going home. I know I have to go back eventually. So that's why I'm walking there now. I took a deep breath. I knocked on the door.

It opened and there he was in all his glory. Liam . He was fuming m. He reached towards me and drug me in the house. "Where have you been stupid bitch!!!???" He said whilst dragging me up the stairs. I yelped out in pain as my back was being hit repeatedly against the stair. Once we reached my room he grabbed me by my hair and slammed me in the bed.

"You've fucked up now slut, so do a lil favor and fuck me." He said while smiling sinisterly, I cried and whimpered squirming under him begging him not to touch me. He just held me down and ignored my pleas. Then he ripped off my clothes and everything went blank. Numb. I just waited for it to be over. Knowing nothing I did would help me.

Once he finished he spit on my face and left. Disgusting I wiped of the spit and urged myself not to cry. My tears wouldn't solve anything but fuck did it feel good to just let go. I started bawling my eyes out. I walked to my drawer and pulled out my many flasks. I drunk one and it had no effect. I drank another. And another. And another. Till eventually I couldn't even count how many I've had anymore. I pulled out my phone and went to the only person I felt I could rely on. Billie.

Me: biklie
Bil🥰:?
Me: I lub yovsxh
Bil🥰:are you drunk?
Me: yesssdg
Bil🥰: do you want me to come get you?
Me: waitttt noooo
Me: my syep dad hvrt me again
Bil🥰: what?! I coming to get you right now
Me: bil? Dint come I hve a qistion
Bil🥰: what is it?
Me: how do you do this thibg called livibg

I shut off my phone after that. I sighed and cried silently grabbing my razor. She knows now. I'm so stupid. I didn't wanna get her involved with this. I inhaled sharply as the blade swiftly went across my wrist. That wasn't all though. That wasn't enough. I slice my thighs too.

Go deeper you need to feel the pain. I'm so stupid. I'm so stupid. I'm so stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I said going over the slices once more with each word. I sighed when I cut to deep. I didn't even care. I watched happily as the blood ran down my legs and wrists and pooled at the floor. Next thing I know I was out.

I was woken to someone shaking me and crying begging me to wake up. "Please, yeah we're at 123 bullavard road." A soft voice said. "Hurry" she ended the call and shook once again. I opened my eyes immediately squinting at the brightness. She gasped and waterfalls of new tears fell out her beautiful eyes. Billie. It's Billie. "Why" she asked quietly. I felt myself float back out of consciousness but before I did I mumbled a simple "I love you Billie" I heard screaming and sobbing and then I was out.

      (A

)

I might put some of my song inspos to the chapters at the top for ex. TTCL was my inspiration for this chapter.