This Number

A Home

            -- My Everything : Ariana Grande 

A Home 

-- Niall Horan

        A pair of blue eyes stared down at the digits on the screen. a pair of hands gripped the phone, knuckles white. a pair of feet tapped the floor, impatiently. a pair of thumbs hovered over the lit screen, indecisively. his mind yelled at him, no, no, no. but he didn't know whether or not to listen.

        "hey, ni. what's up?" he didn't even look up, only frowned.

        "that's nice. oh, nothing much, just chillin'," louis responded as if niall had answered and asked what he was up to. niall blinked, finally looking up to see the boy sitting next to him eating fruit snacks. his feet were kicked up on the coffee table, his gaze on niall's phone.

        "i don't know what to do anymore, lou," niall sighed. he just felt like crying, honestly. everything was overwhelming him. he was tired. louis put his snacks down on the table, shifting to sit correctly. he frowned, patting the boy in the shoulder.

        "niall, what do you mean?" he asked. he knew what it was. it had to do something with her number. he knew niall wanted to call her and he felt so sad. sad because it pained him to see niall in pain.

        "i want to hear her voice. i want to see her. i want to be able feel her. hell, i even want to smell her sweet scent. i'm going crazy, lou. i don't know what to do anymore," niall was holding back the urge to cry. he was about to burst. it's like a simple tap would make him burst out into tears. 

        "i know it's painful for someone you love so much to not be by your side. it sucks. but the pain is necessary, niall. i know this probably sounds fucked up, but it's true. you need the pain to be able to live on happily afterward."

       "but it feels like it's never going to end. this pain made a home, it made a permanent home inside of me," by now niall was crying, his sniffles filling the air. tears fell down his rosy cheeks, sadness painted on his face. it broke louis' heart to see his younger mate like this, so he tried his best to soothe him, rubbing his back. they all hated seeing niall hurt. all of them.

        "no it didn't, nialler. pain is like a really rude tourist. you know, one of those who never shuts up about what places it's going to see. the one that has the need to see everything. right now, it's touring around inside you -- wow, okay, this is rather strange.. uhm. disregard what i just said." niall chuckled softly as louis shook his head at his failure at comforting the broken lad.

        "but anyway, pain is a really rude and annoying tourist. it'll go away eventually, i promise."

        "but, louis. this pain i feel isn't just a tourist. it's there and it'll never leave," niall cried.

        "no, don't say that," louis responded sadly. "it's not true, at all."

        "i just want to call her, lou. but i don't know what to do. i'm confused."

        "nialler, don't do it, please. you have to realize she's gone, lad."

        "no she's not! she would never leave me!" he stood up, making louis flinch. he was angry. she would never leave him. she wouldn't do that, no, no, no. it was his fault... right?

        "ni," louis began, cautiously. "i don't think you fully understand yet. she's gone." niall sat back down, huffing as he still held the phone in his hands.

        "just think about it, yeah? you know what the right thing to do is.. not to do it," louis advised, picking up his snacks, giving the boy a pat on the back before walking out. niall huffed again, knowing louis was going to go spend time with his girlfriend, alex. it wasn't fair, they were happy and he wasn't.

        but the key to his happiness was just a phone call away. at least that's what he told himself. he just had to call; call a number, this number.

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this actually breaks my heart, omg. and i was listening to the song on the side/top and damn am i sobbing. hopefully you had a box of tissues near you... if not, sorry. 

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