three

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“You knew you were gay when you were twelve?”

Lisa laughed. “I didn’t know what gay meant, I just knew I didn’t like boys.”

“You already had a crush on her then?”

Lisa nodded. “I’m not sure I knew it, though. I was just the friend she had to hide from everybody. I know it drove her mother crazy. She tried her best to keep us apart.”

“She didn’t like you?”

“Not so much that. She was always cordial to me. But the friendship that Jennie and I had, she wanted that for her with one of the country club group. She made sure Jennie spent plenty of time with them. Tennis lessons, swimming lessons, riding lessons. Dance. All activities that didn’t involve me.”

“Yet at the end of the day, Jennie came home to you,” Seulgi said with a smile.
“I’m sure that did worry her mother.”

“Jennie never got any better with math so I tried to tutor her. But we couldn’t let her mother know. The first time she caught us, I was thirteen.”
* * *

“Lisa, it just doesn’t make sense to me. Why does it have to be so hard?”

“It’s not hard. You’re just not understanding it. You’re going to be in high school pretty soon. It’s going to get a lot harder.”

They were sitting cross-legged on the floor of Jennie's study room. Jennie flopped down dramatically, one arm covering her eyes.

“High school? I can’t do basic math and you’re bringing up high school?”

Lisa's eyes followed the length of her body, landing on her exposed armpit. She grinned devilishly, then attacked, tickling Jennie mercilessly.

Jennie squirmed, laughing as she slapped at Lisa's hands. “Stop! I’ll get you back, Lisa Manoban.”

“Promises, promises,” she said, finally relenting.

Jennie grinned. “I hate it when you do that.”

“Yeah? Then why are you smiling?”

Jennie sat back up, still smiling as she stared at her. “I don’t know. You make me happy.”

Lisa got a funny feeling in her stomach when Jennie looked at her like that. She nodded. “You make me happy too.”

The silence lingered as they stared at each other. Lisa finally looked away and reached for Jennie's homework. She was about to go over another problem when Jennie's bedroom door opened. A few seconds later, Mrs. Kim stood at the threshold to the study room.

“Girls? What are you doing?”

Lisa stared at the floor, speechless. Mrs. Kim scared her. But Jennie's words made her raise her head.

“I’m helping Lisa with some homework,” Jennie said. “That’s okay, isn’t it?”

Mrs. Kim slid her gaze to Lisa, prompting her into action.

“I needed some help in…math,” she said quietly. “Since Jennie is so good at it and all…”

Mrs. Kim nodded. “Yes, well our public school system is sorely lacking in that regard. Of course Jennie can assist you, Lisa. She has a more formal education than you, it only stands to reason.” She smiled quickly, then it was gone. “I came to tell you that your father will have a business guest for dinner. You’ll take your evening meal up here, dear. I’ll have Stella bring it up.”

“Yes, Mother.”

“Well, carry on.”

As soon as the door closed they broke into a fit of giggles. “‘It only stands to reason,’” Lisa mimicked.

“‘Carry on,’” Jennie said in a clipped British accent, causing more laughter.

“So, Miss Smarty-pants, what are you going to teach me?”

Jennie's smile faded. “I’m sorry. But if she knew you were helping me, well…she would send me to a real tutor, one they would pay a lot of money to. It wouldn’t do for you to be smarter than me.”

“Because I’m the maid’s daughter?” Lisa didn’t want to be angry, but she was.

“Lisa, you know how it is.”

Lisa stood, intending to leave. “Yeah, I know. I’ll never be as good as you, no matter what.”

Jennie got up too, grabbing her arm as she turned to leave. “You’re my best friend. Please don’t leave.”

Lisa stared at the hand that was holding her arm. Again, she got a funny feeling in her stomach and she didn’t know what it was. She did know, however, that she liked it.

“You only want to keep me around so that you don’t fail your test tomorrow,” she said, her anger fading as teasing took over.

“Yes. That’s the only reason I tolerate you,” Jennie agreed with a smile.

She then surprised Lisa—and possibly herself—by pulling Lisa to her and hugging her tightly. Lisa was trembling as her arms slipped around Jennie's small waist. The cartwheels in her stomach increased, and she closed her eyes, wondering what was happening to her.

Jennie had a funny look on her face when she pulled away. They stared at each other for the longest time, then Jennie nodded as if she’d found an answer to an unspoken question. Lisa nodded too, pretending she not only knew the question but the answer as well.

“You want to watch TV?”

Lisa looked at the papers on the floor. “What about your test?”

“It’s a lost cause,” Jennie said.

“But—”

Her protest was cut off as Jennie took her hand and led her into the small living room that was adjacent to her bedroom. “Just for a little while. Stella will bring my dinner up at seven. Your momma will be expecting you back down.”

Lisa plopped down beside Jennie on the sofa, math forgotten. “Will your mother be mad?”

Jennie shook her head. “She won’t come back in here. She’s getting ready for their dinner guest.”

Lisa tried to relax, but she couldn’t even begin to focus on the TV. Jennie had scooted closer to her and they sat there, their thighs pressed together, both glancing from the TV to each other. When Stella knocked on the door, Lisa and Jennie moved away from each other guiltily. Lisa had no idea what they should feel guilty about.

Still, with one last look into Jennie's eyes, she bid her a hasty goodnight.

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