Cascading from Nirvana

Uno

Azaria's POV

THE VASTNESS of the dark sky often wonders me. Appreciating the twinkling stars around the solitary moon that shine through the blankness of the night is my favorite time of the night. Damn, how marvelous.

I stretched my right arm as an attempt to reach those narcotic constellations. But to my dismay, it didn't even reach my fingertips. The distance seems so endless, impossible.  

I sighed as I withdraw my hand and slowly make its way to the back of my head, letting it rest as I lay on the rooftop gazing and admiring the beauty of darkness. 

With my presumed 19 years of existence on Earth, the first 17 years were quite a blur. I lived for the past two years clueless on who or what I really am. My existence on this planet is a great mystery even to myself. I felt like something from my past that is so important is missing, just like a puzzle losing its piece. 

Ayon kay Tiya Lea, nawala ang mga alaala ko noong dise-siete anyos ako dahil sa trahedya na kinasangkutan ng aking mga magulang. Both of my parents didn't survive the car accident, but miraculously I managed to do so. 

Tiya Lea and her daughter Lianne claimed to be my only blood-related relative to be alive, although they don't treat me the way I think I supposed to be. At sa tuwing magtatanong ako tungkol sa aking mga magulang ay sumbat lamang ang isinasagot nila sa akin. They said I was a hard-headed brat who tried to runaway amidst the ferocious weather the same day that the accident happened. 

Kahit na ayaw tanggapin ng aking isipan, the feeling of a hole inside my heart is a proof of guilt on what I have done to my parents. Hindi ko man naaalala ang eksaktong mga pangyayari noong gabing iyon, but this sickening feeling of rage and regret ensures me that it was all my fault. 

 A tear suddenly fell from my right eye as I realized how miserable my current state is. Hindi ko man lang maalala ang kanilang mga mukha. Ang pagkislap ng kanilang mga mata sa kasiyahan at ang pagkurba ng kanilang mga labi sa tuwing makikita nila ako. 

Every night, stargazing became my avenue of escape from the scorching reality. 

Tuwing nandito ako ay pakiramdam ko malaya ako mula sa karahasan ng totoong mundo. Here, I can tell the moon and stars about what I truly feel and how agonizing and dramatic my life is without them judging me. 

Here, I am myself.  I am free.

Suddenly, a black cat jumped near me. It has piercing green eyes that would scare any person, but not me. I stared at it the same way it was looking at me. After a few moments, it took a step back and sit quietly beside me. I know it wasn't trying to scare me, it was just scared and defensive.

I know because I can see right through its vertical-slit eye.

NAGISING ako dahil sa malakas na pagkalampag sa pinto ng aking kwarto. Tila ba niyanig noon ang maliit kong silid. Nang hindi makuntento ay binuksan pa nito ang pinto at pumasok.  

Kasunod noon ay narinig ko ang sigaw ni Tiya Lea, "Ria! Bumangon ka na dyan bata ka, anong oras na! Ipaghahanda mo pa kami ng agahan! Male-late pa ako sa trabaho dahil sa iyo!"

Dahil sa nakakairitang boses ay bumangon ako at agad naglakad palabas ng silid at nilampasan na lamang si Tiya. Ngunit hindi niya ata ito nagustuhan dahil hindi pa man ako nakalalayo ay naramdaman ko na ang paghila niya sa aking buhok. 

"Aba't sino ka sa palagay mo para talikuran ako? Hampaslupang 'to! Palamunin ka lang sa bahay na 'to Ria tandaan mo! Huwag kang maging mapagmataas sa sarili mo." Singhal nito sa akin. 

"Tulad ka rin ng batugan mong ama! Mayabang na akala mo kung sino. Oh, e nasaan siya ngayon? Sa hukay! Kinuha na marahil ni satanas dahil sa sama ng ugali." Pagtatapos nito ay umiiling pa na lumabas ng kwarto habang naiwan ako nakalupasay sa sahig dahil sa sakit nang pagkakahila niya sa buhok ko.